Rick Rolled

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I really want to be president, but I get the feeling that it just won't happen. The media made it look like I'd be the best candidate, but then when I said I'd try, people started to say that I don't have many ideas, and that the ones that I have are bad ideas. And people keep comparing me to a previous president, who also had my current job before me, but who's not very popular anymore. Should I keep trying to get to be president, or should I accept that I won't be and try to do the job I have now?

Feeling Rick-Rolled

You should stop trying to be preisdent. You could be more than that. You could make toast. You could dance. You could play the drums. These are better than being president.

(Editor's note. Dr Sadie has not officially endorsed any candidates in the race for President of the United States, but indications show that she's leaning towards Caillou.)

Gone to the dogs?

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I'm in a bit of a pickle. I met a wonderful man, "Carl." He's everything I could have hoped for - kind, caring, handsome, a good listener - the whole nine yards. We've been dating for a year, and we're talking about moving in together. There's only one problem: Sheila.

Sheila's not a wife or ex-girlfriend or anything like that. She's his dog. He's hopelessly devoted to her, but I do not like dogs. Even though I don't like them, I try to get along with Sheila, but she doesn't make it easy. She jumps on me and pushes me out of the bed at night. She barks whenever I come over. On top of it all, I'm allergic to her.

I don't feel right making it a "she goes or I go" situation, and I think Carl and I really have a future together. What should I do?

- Cinderella DeVille

You should give the dog to someone else. Maybe you could give it to my friend, Stella, who lives across the street. She has a dog already, and she likes dogs. I'm going to go to her house today with Mama.

You should get a kitty cat. You could have a kitty instead. You could call the kitty Tooey. Our kitty is named Tooey. You can have a kitty like ours.

You could get a goldfish. You could get a lot of goldfish and have a goldfish party.

True Meaning of Christmas

Dear Dr. Sadie,

My wife and I are typical, Northeast, left-leaning, over-educated, middle class parents. We have a 2-year old daughter. She's very interested in Christmas, and is fascinated by Santa Claus. She can't wait for Santa to come visit, and she's been talking about the presents that he's going to bring for her.

I'd like her to have an appreciation for the spirit of the holidays, and not grow up with consumerist ideals. How can I help her to understand that Christmas is about love, family and giving, and not about new toys and candy?

- Ebenezer

You're going to turn into a prince, just like "The Beast" did. I don't know if you can turn into a Daddy after that.

Your daughter should know about other holidays. Halloween is coming, and people give you candy. You get to dress up as a ghost and scare people. Then they give you candy.

I'm going to bring pierogies for holiday meals. I like holiday meals, too. Christmas is my favorite holiday meal. I also like Christmas lights. Do you like Christmas lights, too?

Christmas isn't just about Santa and presents. Christmas is also about candy and trees and Christmas meals, too.

Peace or piece of mind?

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I am a lifelong pacifist. I don't understand war at all. I am a bit of an oddity in my chosen profession (I'm an engineer), but it's never caused me problems until now. I have been out of work for 3 years. The recession has hit me hard, and my family is struggling. We've already had to move twice, and now there are 5 of us living in a studio apartment.

Recently, a friend, who works for a defense contractor, submitted my resume to her superiors. She did so without my knowledge or permission. I have been contacted for an interview. My friend says that they were very impressed, and they are "fast tracking" me for a job. The idea of working for a company that makes weapons is abhorrent to me, but the money is fantastic. My family could afford to move back into a house and resume a sense of normalcy.

Should I stick to my principles or do what is right for my family?

- Rockin' the hard place

I don't know what you should do. This is a really hard one.

Laugh, twirl and love, or toil in the muck

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I am 14 years old. All I ever wanted to do was dance, but my father wants me to take over the family business (he's a plumber). I have the opportunity to participate in a prestigious ballet program on the weekends, but my father says that weekends are when we should be working together and I should be learning the ropes of the business.

I feel like I'm letting him down by not wanting to go into his business, but dancing is my one and only love.

Signed,
Isadora

Do you have a kitty cat or a dog? What do they want you to be?

You should look for some kids to dance with. If you can't find any, you could buy some at the store. You should bring them home and show them to your Daddy. Then you could all dance together.

You should sing to your Daddy. Then you should go across the street and be a ballerina all the time.

You should be a ballerina. That's what you want to be.

Give in, give up, or give a hoot?

Dear Dr. Sadie,

My friends tell me that watching the news makes me too sad, angry, and obsessed with things over which I have no actual influence. But the fact that I don't have any influence is what upsets me. At the very least, isn't it my duty as an American to stay informed about all the ways that our democracy is dying? I mean, if everyone stops paying attention and tunes out in order to reduce their stress levels, doesn't that guarantee that the dream of freedom and equality will be lost forever? Or is it too late? Are my friends right? Should I just get over it, accept the plutocracy, and focus more on my yoga practice?

Sincerely,
Politiconflicted

You should watch it over again. You should watch the television. You could watch Curious George the Monkey. He likes bananas. I like bananas, too.

It's OK if you don't know what's going on. As long as you have your mommy. Mommy knows everything. Santa is coming. I know that without the news. While I was sleeping, Santa came and brought me candy, then he put a scooter in my tree. I went out in the snow and rode around and around, and he rode around in his sleigh. I'm going to get a cow for Santa to pull his sleigh, so he can give presents to the children.

Don't be sad.

Moving on

I recently got back from a LONG trip (two years) away from my friends and family. Now everyone says I need to look for a job. I don't really want a job but I guess all adults should have one in America. What kind of job do you think I should do? And where should I live?

-Sleepless in Spokane.

You should pay a ticket, a thirty-two one. You probably have a broken mouth. You have too many jobs to do. You should work by yourself. You should do nothing. You shouldn't dance. You shouldn't sing. You should do nothing.

You should live in the new house that I built. It's like a fox's house. It's not in the woods, but it looks like the sun in the woods.

Fight or Flight

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I'm a gay man. I've been seeing the same guy for three months now and I'm starting to fall for him....hard. However, he says he's not in a place in his life to be in a relationship. But, I'm not willing to give up so easily...even though I know I'm not the only person he's seeing (although I'm fairly certain we have a much stronger connection than he does with the other boy). He says he cares a lot about me and never wants to let go of my hand when we say good bye. Should I protect myself from heartache and just drop things now? Or should I press on and see where this story can go?

Yours Truly,
Mr. Too Much Love To Give

You should find a new friend.