Dear Dr. Sadie,
I am a teacher. I have a hard time competing for students' attention with cell phones and other mobile devices. What can I do?
- Anachronistic Teacher
PS I teach Kindergarten
You should get a police officer. The police officer will tell the students "get off the phone, you students, and watch your teacher."
Maybe you should be more fun to your students. Maybe you can take them to the playground. Maybe you can go and play in the dirt. You should do nothing else.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Kids won't eat vegetables
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My daughter is 5 years old, and she refuses to eat her vegetables. I tried everything, but nothing works. What can I do?
- Worried Mama
You should feed your daughter fruit. I like mango. Caillou doesn't like vegetables, but he likes Chinese vegetables. Have you tried Chinese vegetables? I like most vegetables. I like broccoli and potatoes and artichokes and olives. Broccoli is very good in dinner. I like it in mac and cheese.
My daughter is 5 years old, and she refuses to eat her vegetables. I tried everything, but nothing works. What can I do?
- Worried Mama
You should feed your daughter fruit. I like mango. Caillou doesn't like vegetables, but he likes Chinese vegetables. Have you tried Chinese vegetables? I like most vegetables. I like broccoli and potatoes and artichokes and olives. Broccoli is very good in dinner. I like it in mac and cheese.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Why couldn't I be Rapunzel?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I have a little problem. Actually it's seven little problems. A little while back, I ran away from my troubles, seeking a change in location for a change of mind. I was just looking for a place to lay low and clear my head. I lucked into a cohousing situation with seven "little people" - all men. They seemed industrious and stable. They were willing to trade rent for domestic duties, and none of gave off a creepy vibe. Their only negative trait was that they all had an annoying habit of whistling any time any work needed to be done.
Fast forward six months. It turns out that they're all a little crazy. One is allergic to everything. One is narcoleptic. Another's not the brightest bulb in the drawer. One is overeducated and lords it over us all. One of them is so shy he hasn't come out of his room since I moved in. Another is just plain moody. The last one, worst of them all, is borderline gleeful all the time. It's just not natural.
I feel grateful for the opportunity to live with them, but I think the relationship has run its course. Still, I can't help feeling that without me around, they'd never wash their socks or cook a decent meal. How do I bow out gracefully without hurting their feelings or leaving them in the lurch?
- S. White
You should get some new roommates. They should be smiley. I like smiles. You should live with three roommates. Seven is too many. Their names should be DeeDee, DeeTee and DeeGee.
When you leave, you should say "good bye." You can say "thank you," too. They sound nice.
I have a little problem. Actually it's seven little problems. A little while back, I ran away from my troubles, seeking a change in location for a change of mind. I was just looking for a place to lay low and clear my head. I lucked into a cohousing situation with seven "little people" - all men. They seemed industrious and stable. They were willing to trade rent for domestic duties, and none of gave off a creepy vibe. Their only negative trait was that they all had an annoying habit of whistling any time any work needed to be done.
Fast forward six months. It turns out that they're all a little crazy. One is allergic to everything. One is narcoleptic. Another's not the brightest bulb in the drawer. One is overeducated and lords it over us all. One of them is so shy he hasn't come out of his room since I moved in. Another is just plain moody. The last one, worst of them all, is borderline gleeful all the time. It's just not natural.
I feel grateful for the opportunity to live with them, but I think the relationship has run its course. Still, I can't help feeling that without me around, they'd never wash their socks or cook a decent meal. How do I bow out gracefully without hurting their feelings or leaving them in the lurch?
- S. White
You should get some new roommates. They should be smiley. I like smiles. You should live with three roommates. Seven is too many. Their names should be DeeDee, DeeTee and DeeGee.
When you leave, you should say "good bye." You can say "thank you," too. They sound nice.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
School Daze
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My daughter is turning 3 soon, and she's about to start school. Do you have any advice for her?
- Worried Parent
Yes. I think that she can go to middle grade for the first few days. Then she can go to Hollywood and play games on her bed. In school, you don't learn anything. You just play and eat all day, then you go home for a nap. I don't like school very much.
My daughter is turning 3 soon, and she's about to start school. Do you have any advice for her?
- Worried Parent
Yes. I think that she can go to middle grade for the first few days. Then she can go to Hollywood and play games on her bed. In school, you don't learn anything. You just play and eat all day, then you go home for a nap. I don't like school very much.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Can't the hills take a nap?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I have a wonderful son, who is 8 years old. This year he gets to select the instrument he wants to play in the school band. Unfortunately he wants to play the drums. I am fine with listening to years of ear-splitting practice sessions and mediocre concerts as he improves, but this I cannot do, even in the name of love.
He's an early riser, and I'm certain that I will get no sleep in the years to come as he practices his newfound hobby. What can I do to encourage his musical enthusiasm and keep my sanity?
A Music Lover, Really
You should let him play the drums. When he's playing the drums, you should get out of there. Or, if you like, you can have him play the drums outside. It's more better if he plays the drums outside.
That's not fair, I don't think your son should play the drums inside. It's too noisy.
I have a wonderful son, who is 8 years old. This year he gets to select the instrument he wants to play in the school band. Unfortunately he wants to play the drums. I am fine with listening to years of ear-splitting practice sessions and mediocre concerts as he improves, but this I cannot do, even in the name of love.
He's an early riser, and I'm certain that I will get no sleep in the years to come as he practices his newfound hobby. What can I do to encourage his musical enthusiasm and keep my sanity?
A Music Lover, Really
You should let him play the drums. When he's playing the drums, you should get out of there. Or, if you like, you can have him play the drums outside. It's more better if he plays the drums outside.
That's not fair, I don't think your son should play the drums inside. It's too noisy.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
A Comb-Over Too?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I am 17. My father is not aging gracefully. The waistline of his pants has started migrating north, and he is losing his hair rapidly. When he drives, he routinely goes 10 miles per hour under the speed limit and leaves his blinker on for miles. He yells at all the other drivers.
I love my dad, but I'm embarrassed for him. What can I do?
- Red-faced in Red Hook
I think you can get a new Dada - a dada that won't scream at the other drivers. Then you should stop being embarrassed, and you should get some ice cream. What kind of ice cream do you like? I like cherry. Dada likes caramel, and mama likes chocolate.
I am 17. My father is not aging gracefully. The waistline of his pants has started migrating north, and he is losing his hair rapidly. When he drives, he routinely goes 10 miles per hour under the speed limit and leaves his blinker on for miles. He yells at all the other drivers.
I love my dad, but I'm embarrassed for him. What can I do?
- Red-faced in Red Hook
I think you can get a new Dada - a dada that won't scream at the other drivers. Then you should stop being embarrassed, and you should get some ice cream. What kind of ice cream do you like? I like cherry. Dada likes caramel, and mama likes chocolate.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Where's the butter?
Dear Dr Sadie,
Why do they call them "butterflies?" Wouldn't a more accurate name be "Flutter-bys?"
- Confused Lepidopterist
Because butterflies are called flutterbys and flutterbys are called butterflies. I don't know much about butterfiles. I know more about things that live in the woods, like maybe wolves. I can answer questions about wolves. I know that wolves have skippy claws. I know that snakes can't wear vests because they don't have any arms. I know that tigers have rough claws and stripes. But I don't know much about butterflies.
Why do they call them "butterflies?" Wouldn't a more accurate name be "Flutter-bys?"
- Confused Lepidopterist
Because butterflies are called flutterbys and flutterbys are called butterflies. I don't know much about butterfiles. I know more about things that live in the woods, like maybe wolves. I can answer questions about wolves. I know that wolves have skippy claws. I know that snakes can't wear vests because they don't have any arms. I know that tigers have rough claws and stripes. But I don't know much about butterflies.
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