Which Neighbors?

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I live in a lovely neighborhood with beautiful homes and tree-lined streets. It's ideal, except for one thing - there are no kids for my two sons (ages 6 and 10) to play with. Thankfully, a family moved in down the street with two sons (also ages 6 and 10). We were very happy with the situation. Our kids get along really well, and everything seemed fine. Then we found out that the parents are practicing witches.

We are devout Christians. We're not sure what to make of the situation. Our church preaches that these people are doomed, and that we should shun them. They are lovely people though, and we're not sure what to do. Any advice?

- Love Thy Neighbor?

You should cast some spells on the witches. You could turn them into juice - apple juice. Then you could drink them. Their kids could also drink the apple juice.

Another thing you could do is blast the witches off to space. They would take their kids with them. Then your sons would be lonely again.