Scout's Honor

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I am 8 years old, and all of my friends are joining the girl scouts. I want to join, too, but my Dad says, "no daughter of mine is going to join a proto-fascist, paramilitary organization that perpetuates homophobia and promotes mindless consumerism." I just don't want to be left out of a fun activity with great outfits. How can I convince him?

- Confused Wannabe Scout

You can wait to grow up a little bit. You can join them when you're 10 years old. You can tell your Daddy that you are willing to wait, but you want to do it when you are 10 years old. Then you can wear the fun outfit and go on fun hay rides.