The True Meaning of Christmas

Dear Dr. Sadie,

Christmas is a very big deal in my family. We always exchange elaborate gifts, and people often try to one-up each other with expensive and unnecessary things. This year, I'd like to suggest that we only give gifts that are more meaningful - handmade gifts, the gift of one's time or services, or a donation to a charity in someone's name. I'm afraid that my family will think I'm being a cheapskate and that they won't see the good in this idea. Any thoughts?

- Not the Grinch

You should give good gifts to people you like and people you love. You could give a chariot. You could think of a really great present, but the Christmas trees are already gone.

Your family might be disappointed with the pictures. They would like pictures of the wall. They would like pictures of a magazine. They would like pictures of a horse.

You should go away to your family. You're not nice to them. You think like the Grinch. The Grinch thinks Christmas is bad and so do you. I think your family really wants chocolate and scooters for Christmas.

To Date or Not to Date

Dear Dr. Sadie,

There's a boy in my class, "Joey," who's very cute. I've had a crush on him for months. This week he asked me to the winter dance, but my mother won't let me go. She says that 12 is too young to date. What can I do to convince her that this was meant to be?

- Juliet

You should get another boy. This one is the wrong boy. Get another boy who didn't ask you out. They you won't go, and your mother will be happy.

Overstayed

Dear Dr Sadie,

My wife and I welcomed our first baby into the family 6 months ago. About the same time, my wife's sister, Martha, had been unemployed for over a year and was about to lose her apartment. We proposed that she move into our spare room to help out with the baby and get herself reintegrated into society.

It's been 6 months, and she's done nothing but watch soaps, sleep until noon and eat our food. She is no help at all, and she shows no signs of getting her life back on track. I'm afraid that we're stuck with her. My wife won't have the hard conversation with her.

What should I do?

- Sick of the In-Law

You should grow another children. This one will be a boy.

You should write a thank you note to your sister. I don't know what you should say in the note.

You should talk to her. You should say "boom there."

Arms wide closed

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I am 15 years old, and an only child. Life is pretty good, but my parents are about to mess it up. They are in the process of getting our house approved as a foster home. Within a few months we are going to start getting new kids coming into our home. I can't help feeling that my needs are going to be put on the back burner for the sake of these new kids.

What can I do?

- Likes being an only child

You could get them into the house another time. Maybe at Christmas time. Everybody likes Christmas time.

You're going to have a new brother and new sister. Their names are going to be Carmichael, Carmichael, Carmichael and Mooshie. If I had a sister, her name would be Mr. Brown.

You should be happy about your new family. You're going to be a big brother. That's very exciting.

Water, water, nowhere

Dear Dr. Sadie,

There are a lot of people around the world who don't have clean water to drink. Because they don't have good water, or a good bathroom, they can get sick very easily. What do you think I can do to help?

Sympathetic to the Thirsty

You can get them some fresh water. You can get it at the co-op. If they don't have any water, you can get them some seltzer.

I will get them a new bathroom. You can find one at the co-op.

It sounds like they have to go shopping. Maybe they could just stay home and wander around in their living rooms.

Maybe all of these people should just go somewhere else. Maybe they could go stay with their brother. Where does their brother live?

Nerves won't get up

Dear Dr. Sadie,

There's a girl I like a lot, and I just don't have the nerve to ask her out. I think she's great, and I'd really like to be with her. But I just don't know if I can take it if I put myself out there and she says "no." What should I do?

- Unloved?

You should ask her out. You should say "could I hold your hand?" That's a very good idea. You should go out for pizza at the pizza store.

If she says "no" then you should find someone else to hold your hand. Maybe you can ask my friend, Acorny. He's my friend in the whole wide world. He lives in a trash can. He lives in Florida. He's a French man.

Bad Decisions

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I have had the same best friend for 45 years, since we were in the same kindergarten. We've had our highs and lows, but "Lola" seems to manufacture drama wherever she goes.

Lola is very flighty, and she makes terrible decisions. She gets involved with unstable men. She can't seem to hold a job. She is bad with money. Whenever something good does happen in her life, she sabotages it.

As a result, as we approach our 50th birthdays, she's alone with mountains of debt and a dead-end, hourly job, and I'm married with three kids who are in college or graduated, a great job, and no debt. I've patiently listened to her complain for years, and I've been very supportive. Lately, she's been resentful of my lifestyle. She's said many hurtful things.

I want to come back with comments about her current situation being a result of her choices, but it seems cruel. Should I let her have it? Should I cut off all ties? Should I remain her friend and let the barrage continue?

- Door Mat

You should get a different friend. Lola should apologize to you. She's not a very good friend.

You could look for a new friend. Babies come from bellies. You could look in a belly for a new baby to be your friend.

Forget-me-not

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I have a little problem. My neighbor is a very nice man, but he is getting older and showing signs of dementia. He often confuses me with a previous neighbor, even though I moved into the house over 20 years ago. Still, he's a wonderful neighbor and a good person.

My problem stems from an incident this summer. His lawnmower broke, right in the middle of his mowing the lawn. He asked if he could borrow my mower to finish his lawn. I happily obliged. When he finished, he put my mower in his garage and didn't return it. I'm certain that he just forgot that it was mine, but I'd like to get it back.

This weekend, his family came around, and are discussing moving him into assisted living. I'm loath to bring up such a petty topic at a difficult time, but my grass is now knee high. What should I do?

- I See Tumbleweeds

You can get another lawnmower at the store. It will cost ten dollars.

You can go over to his house and say, "give me that lawnmower back." I can go over with my Daddy, and we'll ask too.

Trains that drool?

Note: Today's question comes from Ask Dr. Sadie's colleague, Dr. Jesse (her 5 year old cousin):


I have two questions. First, do you like trains? Second, I have a little sister who drools, what should I do?

- Dr. Jesse

Yes, I do like trains. I like Lego trains. I like moving trains.

Second, oh no! You should say "I'm sorry" to her. You should go to school with her and dance.

How dare he?

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I'm 16, and a junior in high school. I get good grades, am responsible and never disobey my parents. It's my lifelong goal to get into an Ivy League college and become a doctor.

Recently, my father quit his high-paying job to become an artist and "find himself." He spends all day in his "studio," painting mediocre landscapes and "getting in touch with his muse."

We've had to seriously adjust our family lifestyle to accommodate him. I don't mind for the most part, but I am starting to doubt whether or not I'll make it to the Ivy League.

What should I do?

- The Crimson is Calling

Should you save a hundred dollars of money? Maybe you could try going to a different college - one that doesn't cost as much.

When you go to college, you can study lots of things. You can learn to take turns and share and sing songs and dance.

An Apple a Day?

Dear Dr Sadie,

I am 54 years old, and my husband is 57. We've been married over 30 years. It's been a good life. We raised our kids, who are now independent, and we are now living in our paid-off home. We're nearing retirement and looking forward to our golden years together.

Over the last six months, my husband has developed symptoms of some health problems. He's becoming more forgetful, and he's tired all the time. I think he may be showing signs of a real problem, but he insists that he's just getting older and there's nothing to worry about. He won't go to the doctor, no matter what I do.

I am worried that he's jeopardizing our hard-earned future together in the name of his pride. What can I do?

-Worried in Walla Walla

You should get a helper to bring him to the doctor. Maybe my friend Stella can help you to the doctor. She lives down the road. Maybe your Mama could help. Mama makes everything better. Maybe your son could help. Where does he live?

Was your husband an itty bitty baby once? Then you held him in your hand and you could take him to the doctor. Can you take him now?

I like going to the doctor. My doctor is very nice. Maybe your husband could go to my doctor.

(Singing): I like going to the doctor. I like going to the doctor. I like going to the doctor. Because I have a broken heart.

Noisy vs Nosy

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I live in a lovely neighborhood. The streets are lined with elms and the houses are old Victorians with historical value. Most of my neighbors are lovely people.

Recently, a young, childless couple moved in. They immediately started "updating" the house with an outdoor hot tub, outdoor entertainment center, pool, lights and decking. They are in the process of painting the house purple. They are constantly throwing parties that are loud and last until all hours of the night.

Many of us in the neighborhood are sick of these people. They are ruining our neighborhood. What can we do?

The Historical Elm Street Neighborhood Association (est 1997)

You could make another neighborhood, somewhere else. It would look like a different neighborhood. You have more friends. What are their names? My friends are named Mata, Rata, Fata, Chalk and Eegah. I like Eegah the best.

You should not talk to the people in the new house. They are lousy. If you do talk to them, say anything carefully. They are lousy people.

Picky eaters

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I'm not sure if your expertise lies in child psychology or not, but I could use your help. My son (he's 2) will eat nothing but mac and cheese. We try to get him to eat healthy foods, but all he wants is mac and cheese. We're worried that he's not going to grow up into a healthy child. What can we do?

Worried Mama

You should go to the store and get some mushrooms. Mushrooms are tasty. I want to know if you have a cat or a dog.

Maybe another person could help you with him. Maybe they could help you feed him better foods. Stella could help you. She's my friend who lives down the street. Stella likes to eat pasta and jam, not just mac and cheese.

Your son should climb the monkey bars. You should help him. When you get home, he will be very hungry, and he will eat lots of foods. What do you think he would like to eat? He could eat butter and toast or some water.

A Rose is a Rose

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I am very excited. My daughter-in-law is 8 1/2 months pregnant with my very first grandchild. She and my son are lovely people and will be great parents. The problem is the name.

My daughter-in-law wants to name the baby "Peace Hope Flower Moonchild." She's not even planning on giving it our last name. I know this kid will be the target of teasing for years to come, and it won't be carrying on our family legacy.

What should I do?

- Doting Grandma to be

I don't like that name. I think that baby should be named "Figgy," too. I have a cousin named "Figgy." With a name like that, she can be a famous dance classer like me, and she can dance all over the world.

Rick Rolled

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I really want to be president, but I get the feeling that it just won't happen. The media made it look like I'd be the best candidate, but then when I said I'd try, people started to say that I don't have many ideas, and that the ones that I have are bad ideas. And people keep comparing me to a previous president, who also had my current job before me, but who's not very popular anymore. Should I keep trying to get to be president, or should I accept that I won't be and try to do the job I have now?

Feeling Rick-Rolled

You should stop trying to be preisdent. You could be more than that. You could make toast. You could dance. You could play the drums. These are better than being president.

(Editor's note. Dr Sadie has not officially endorsed any candidates in the race for President of the United States, but indications show that she's leaning towards Caillou.)

Gone to the dogs?

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I'm in a bit of a pickle. I met a wonderful man, "Carl." He's everything I could have hoped for - kind, caring, handsome, a good listener - the whole nine yards. We've been dating for a year, and we're talking about moving in together. There's only one problem: Sheila.

Sheila's not a wife or ex-girlfriend or anything like that. She's his dog. He's hopelessly devoted to her, but I do not like dogs. Even though I don't like them, I try to get along with Sheila, but she doesn't make it easy. She jumps on me and pushes me out of the bed at night. She barks whenever I come over. On top of it all, I'm allergic to her.

I don't feel right making it a "she goes or I go" situation, and I think Carl and I really have a future together. What should I do?

- Cinderella DeVille

You should give the dog to someone else. Maybe you could give it to my friend, Stella, who lives across the street. She has a dog already, and she likes dogs. I'm going to go to her house today with Mama.

You should get a kitty cat. You could have a kitty instead. You could call the kitty Tooey. Our kitty is named Tooey. You can have a kitty like ours.

You could get a goldfish. You could get a lot of goldfish and have a goldfish party.

True Meaning of Christmas

Dear Dr. Sadie,

My wife and I are typical, Northeast, left-leaning, over-educated, middle class parents. We have a 2-year old daughter. She's very interested in Christmas, and is fascinated by Santa Claus. She can't wait for Santa to come visit, and she's been talking about the presents that he's going to bring for her.

I'd like her to have an appreciation for the spirit of the holidays, and not grow up with consumerist ideals. How can I help her to understand that Christmas is about love, family and giving, and not about new toys and candy?

- Ebenezer

You're going to turn into a prince, just like "The Beast" did. I don't know if you can turn into a Daddy after that.

Your daughter should know about other holidays. Halloween is coming, and people give you candy. You get to dress up as a ghost and scare people. Then they give you candy.

I'm going to bring pierogies for holiday meals. I like holiday meals, too. Christmas is my favorite holiday meal. I also like Christmas lights. Do you like Christmas lights, too?

Christmas isn't just about Santa and presents. Christmas is also about candy and trees and Christmas meals, too.

Peace or piece of mind?

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I am a lifelong pacifist. I don't understand war at all. I am a bit of an oddity in my chosen profession (I'm an engineer), but it's never caused me problems until now. I have been out of work for 3 years. The recession has hit me hard, and my family is struggling. We've already had to move twice, and now there are 5 of us living in a studio apartment.

Recently, a friend, who works for a defense contractor, submitted my resume to her superiors. She did so without my knowledge or permission. I have been contacted for an interview. My friend says that they were very impressed, and they are "fast tracking" me for a job. The idea of working for a company that makes weapons is abhorrent to me, but the money is fantastic. My family could afford to move back into a house and resume a sense of normalcy.

Should I stick to my principles or do what is right for my family?

- Rockin' the hard place

I don't know what you should do. This is a really hard one.

Laugh, twirl and love, or toil in the muck

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I am 14 years old. All I ever wanted to do was dance, but my father wants me to take over the family business (he's a plumber). I have the opportunity to participate in a prestigious ballet program on the weekends, but my father says that weekends are when we should be working together and I should be learning the ropes of the business.

I feel like I'm letting him down by not wanting to go into his business, but dancing is my one and only love.

Signed,
Isadora

Do you have a kitty cat or a dog? What do they want you to be?

You should look for some kids to dance with. If you can't find any, you could buy some at the store. You should bring them home and show them to your Daddy. Then you could all dance together.

You should sing to your Daddy. Then you should go across the street and be a ballerina all the time.

You should be a ballerina. That's what you want to be.

Give in, give up, or give a hoot?

Dear Dr. Sadie,

My friends tell me that watching the news makes me too sad, angry, and obsessed with things over which I have no actual influence. But the fact that I don't have any influence is what upsets me. At the very least, isn't it my duty as an American to stay informed about all the ways that our democracy is dying? I mean, if everyone stops paying attention and tunes out in order to reduce their stress levels, doesn't that guarantee that the dream of freedom and equality will be lost forever? Or is it too late? Are my friends right? Should I just get over it, accept the plutocracy, and focus more on my yoga practice?

Sincerely,
Politiconflicted

You should watch it over again. You should watch the television. You could watch Curious George the Monkey. He likes bananas. I like bananas, too.

It's OK if you don't know what's going on. As long as you have your mommy. Mommy knows everything. Santa is coming. I know that without the news. While I was sleeping, Santa came and brought me candy, then he put a scooter in my tree. I went out in the snow and rode around and around, and he rode around in his sleigh. I'm going to get a cow for Santa to pull his sleigh, so he can give presents to the children.

Don't be sad.

Moving on

I recently got back from a LONG trip (two years) away from my friends and family. Now everyone says I need to look for a job. I don't really want a job but I guess all adults should have one in America. What kind of job do you think I should do? And where should I live?

-Sleepless in Spokane.

You should pay a ticket, a thirty-two one. You probably have a broken mouth. You have too many jobs to do. You should work by yourself. You should do nothing. You shouldn't dance. You shouldn't sing. You should do nothing.

You should live in the new house that I built. It's like a fox's house. It's not in the woods, but it looks like the sun in the woods.

Fight or Flight

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I'm a gay man. I've been seeing the same guy for three months now and I'm starting to fall for him....hard. However, he says he's not in a place in his life to be in a relationship. But, I'm not willing to give up so easily...even though I know I'm not the only person he's seeing (although I'm fairly certain we have a much stronger connection than he does with the other boy). He says he cares a lot about me and never wants to let go of my hand when we say good bye. Should I protect myself from heartache and just drop things now? Or should I press on and see where this story can go?

Yours Truly,
Mr. Too Much Love To Give

You should find a new friend.

Undeclared and Undecided

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I'm having trouble deciding on what I should study in college. I feel like it's going to decide what I do for the rest of my life, and I don't want to make the wrong choice. What should I do?

The College of Questions

You shouldn't go to school. You should stay home and play all day and all night. You could stay in your cottage and play all the time.

I should go to school. I will learn dancing at school.

Mom does it all

Dear Sadie,

I used to think I could "have it all" but now I'm worried that I can't work full time *and* be a great mom. What should I do?

- Can Mom Do it All?

You could do both - be a Mama and a Dada. You should play the violin, and I'll play the xylophone. You should make some ice cream. I like cherry. Do you like vanilla?

You can't be a Mama and have a job. Maybe you can practice to be a Dada.

Maybe your Mama can help. Do you have a Mama?

No Job, No Cry

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I've been unemployed for about five months. I tried to keep a positive attitude, but in this economy, it's getting difficult to believe that I'll find a job anytime soon. What should I do?

-10%er

You should stay home and hide. You should go see your Mama, she makes it all better. Then you should go to school to find a new job. You could make drinks. Maybe you could make some coffee.

Transcendental Numbers

Dear Dr. Sadie,

Do you like pi? Or do you prefer e? What's you favorite thing about transcendental numbers?

Signed,

Plato

I like pi. It's fun. I really like "b." It's a letter, too. It goes around your wrist. It's smooth like butter. It's also like milk and cereal. I like it.

My favorite thing is pi. It's a worry and a slice. I really like them for the heck of it.

Dear Dr. Sadie,

My mother-in-law is very nice, but she's given my son a nickname that I hate. What should I do?

- Stuck in the middle

You should take a rest for awhile. Then you should call you her and say the clouds are too hard because they're not doing very well. You should tell her the wind is too hard. And you should say "I don't like that name. You should use his name."

Who's The Father?

I have a friend who is pregnant, but she doesn't know who the father is. What should she do?

Signed,

Concerned Friend

She should name it Figgy. She can look for the daddy over there, behind the couch. Maybe she'll find him there. I think she should go drive to the park with her little sister, and they should go on the swings. And the monkey bars. And they should go on the slide. They should go on the merry go 'round. And the see-saw. Maybe they can go to a friend's house. Maybe the daddy will be there. His name is going to be Anna.

Where's the daddy? I think he's in the closet.

Uncredited Efforts

Dear Dr. Sadie,

At work, my boss takes credit for the work that I do. I'm concerned about the implications that this will have on my career development. What should I do?

Signed,

Jilted At Work

You should go and do some work there. You should go play there, too. You should eat there, too. And you should color there.

You and your boss should put it all together. And eat. Mac & Cheese. And cauliflower. And mango for dessert.

When you talk to your boss, you should say, "Hello, boss." He will say, "Hello," to you. Then you'll eat.

You should take the work away from your boss and then get back to work.

Welcome to Ask Dr. Sadie

Sadie is 2 years old. Her advice is excellent. Feel free to send in your questions about life and living. We'll present them to her, and then we'll post her answers here.