A Hairy Situation

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I really hate getting my hair cut. The sound of the scissors near my ears drives me nuts, and I mourn as all the little hairs flitter to the floor. I feel like I'm losing a part of me.

I haven't had a haircut in 15 years. My hair has gotten so long and out of control that I sometimes step on it when I walk. What should I do?

- Rapunzel

Maybe you should ask the barbs, the people who work at the hair shop, to not cut your ears. Maybe you could put some yellow dye into your hair and then put red dye in your hair, and then you could put white letters in your hair that say "stop cutting by my ears."