Dear Dr. Sadie,
I'm 12 years old. My mother won't let me wear what I want to school. She likes ugly clothes. I like fancy clothes. What should I do?
-Fancy Girl
Maybe you should tell your mom that you could wear ugly clothes under your fancy clothes. Then it would look like an ugly-fancy outfit.
This is just like me. I don't like to wear ugly dresses, but my mommy makes me wear them sometimes.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Lunchtime Blues
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I am in middle school. Lately, whenever I go to lunch and I sit at a lunch table with other kids, they all get up to leave. I end up eating lunch alone. It makes me very sad. What should I do?
- Lonely in Lakeside
I think you should ask them "why are you leaving the lunch table?" Then they will say how come they are leaving. Maybe they are done with lunch. That's a good reason to leave the lunch table. Maybe you're just a slow eater and the other kids are fast eaters.
Maybe you could eat with other kids - maybe your friends that live next to you. You could meet other kids and say "will you be my friend." Then your new friends would sit with you.
I am in middle school. Lately, whenever I go to lunch and I sit at a lunch table with other kids, they all get up to leave. I end up eating lunch alone. It makes me very sad. What should I do?
- Lonely in Lakeside
I think you should ask them "why are you leaving the lunch table?" Then they will say how come they are leaving. Maybe they are done with lunch. That's a good reason to leave the lunch table. Maybe you're just a slow eater and the other kids are fast eaters.
Maybe you could eat with other kids - maybe your friends that live next to you. You could meet other kids and say "will you be my friend." Then your new friends would sit with you.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Dr. Sadie takes on Obesity
Dear Dr Sadie,
My doctor tells me that I need to lose about 100 pounds. I've tried lots of diets and weight-loss plans, but nothing seems to work. What can I do?
- Round, but not Jolly
I think you should stretch out to get some of that stuff out of your arms. When I need to get energy out, I like to run around an play. You can play tag. That's a good way to run around. That's when you run around and try to catch someone.
You should eat eggs and drink milk. Eggs and milk are healthy, but juice isn't healthy for you.
My doctor tells me that I need to lose about 100 pounds. I've tried lots of diets and weight-loss plans, but nothing seems to work. What can I do?
- Round, but not Jolly
I think you should stretch out to get some of that stuff out of your arms. When I need to get energy out, I like to run around an play. You can play tag. That's a good way to run around. That's when you run around and try to catch someone.
You should eat eggs and drink milk. Eggs and milk are healthy, but juice isn't healthy for you.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Blending Traditions
Dear Dr. Sadie,
Well. It's that time of year again. The time when I begin to dread visiting my husband's family for the holidays. Don't get me wrong, they are lovely people who have welcomed me into their family with open arms. It's just that I don't think I can stomach another year of their family tradition - the dreaded Christmas Ham Hash.
You see, each year, the family makes a Christmas Ham on Christmas Eve. It's relatively standard fare - pineapple rings and a maple glaze. Even though I'm not a big meat eater, it's always well prepared and there are plenty of side dishes. Unfortunately, breakfast the following morning is a sort-of Christmas Hash, made by putting most of the leftovers (including the ham, roasted potatoes, string beans and sweet potatoes with marshmallows) into a food processor, then blending it into a pulp, and frying it up like corned beef hash. The whole mess is served with fried eggs. It's indescribably awful.
There are no other food options on Christmas Morning, and no other meals to be had until dinner. If I don't eat, they will be offended. What should I do?
Food Grinch
I think you should ask Pig Will and Pig Won't (editor's note: these are characters from Sadie's favorite show - "Busytown Mysteries"). They would know. They would help make the food more like your taste. They would make you pancakes.
Breakfast with marshmallows!!?!? That's silly. I would rather eat pancakes with bacon.
Well. It's that time of year again. The time when I begin to dread visiting my husband's family for the holidays. Don't get me wrong, they are lovely people who have welcomed me into their family with open arms. It's just that I don't think I can stomach another year of their family tradition - the dreaded Christmas Ham Hash.
You see, each year, the family makes a Christmas Ham on Christmas Eve. It's relatively standard fare - pineapple rings and a maple glaze. Even though I'm not a big meat eater, it's always well prepared and there are plenty of side dishes. Unfortunately, breakfast the following morning is a sort-of Christmas Hash, made by putting most of the leftovers (including the ham, roasted potatoes, string beans and sweet potatoes with marshmallows) into a food processor, then blending it into a pulp, and frying it up like corned beef hash. The whole mess is served with fried eggs. It's indescribably awful.
There are no other food options on Christmas Morning, and no other meals to be had until dinner. If I don't eat, they will be offended. What should I do?
Food Grinch
I think you should ask Pig Will and Pig Won't (editor's note: these are characters from Sadie's favorite show - "Busytown Mysteries"). They would know. They would help make the food more like your taste. They would make you pancakes.
Breakfast with marshmallows!!?!? That's silly. I would rather eat pancakes with bacon.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Dr. Sadie takes on Joblessness
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I've been unemployed for about 18 months. I'm an automotive technician by trade and training. I've given up hope of finding a new job in my field. I recently inherited enough money to start a small business, so I thought I'd give it a go. What business should I start in this economy so that I can be successful?
A Little Disheartened, but Hopeful
I think that you should be in charge of the world. Then you will have lots and lots of money, and you can give it to some of the people that don't have any. Once the poor people have the money, they will give it to the rich people, and the rich people will give it to the pirates.
If you were in charge of the world, you could ask all sorts of important questions, like "why do people have to sweep the floor when it's dirty?" or "why can't I watch the Olympics right now?"
I've been unemployed for about 18 months. I'm an automotive technician by trade and training. I've given up hope of finding a new job in my field. I recently inherited enough money to start a small business, so I thought I'd give it a go. What business should I start in this economy so that I can be successful?
A Little Disheartened, but Hopeful
I think that you should be in charge of the world. Then you will have lots and lots of money, and you can give it to some of the people that don't have any. Once the poor people have the money, they will give it to the rich people, and the rich people will give it to the pirates.
If you were in charge of the world, you could ask all sorts of important questions, like "why do people have to sweep the floor when it's dirty?" or "why can't I watch the Olympics right now?"
Monday, December 10, 2012
Wedding Bells on the Sleigh
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My boyfriend and I just got engaged. We set a date for next year on Christmas Eve. We are planning a Christmas-themed wedding. What can we do to make the celebration for both our wedding and our favorite holiday?
Christmas Bride
You could mix it up with Christmas and then make another holiday - like Hanukah. You could also put holly wreaths on the door. You could decorate the whole room with holly berries, chains of green and blue, and plastic Christmas trees.
You could wear a wedding dress that is green and red, instead of white. That would be Christmasy, because those are Christmas colors. Instead of the wedding songs, you could play the Charlie Brown music (editor's note: "Charlie Brown music" = "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.")
You should serve Christmas food, like chicken nuggets and Christmas Pie, wrapped in holly berry paper. At the party, you could open the paper, and there would be a pie, which you could cut into pieces, then sploosh into people's faces. Then they would lick it off and say, "this pie is delicious."
My boyfriend and I just got engaged. We set a date for next year on Christmas Eve. We are planning a Christmas-themed wedding. What can we do to make the celebration for both our wedding and our favorite holiday?
Christmas Bride
You could mix it up with Christmas and then make another holiday - like Hanukah. You could also put holly wreaths on the door. You could decorate the whole room with holly berries, chains of green and blue, and plastic Christmas trees.
You could wear a wedding dress that is green and red, instead of white. That would be Christmasy, because those are Christmas colors. Instead of the wedding songs, you could play the Charlie Brown music (editor's note: "Charlie Brown music" = "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.")
You should serve Christmas food, like chicken nuggets and Christmas Pie, wrapped in holly berry paper. At the party, you could open the paper, and there would be a pie, which you could cut into pieces, then sploosh into people's faces. Then they would lick it off and say, "this pie is delicious."
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Ch- Ch- Ch- Changes
Dear Dr. Sadie,
There have been lots of changes going on in my life lately. First my Dad got a new job, so we moved to a new state. For a little while, we lived with my grandparents, then we moved into our own house. Then, after just a few months, we moved again. I started at a new school, but then I changed to a different school. On top of all of that, there's a new baby in our house.
I like all of the changes, but it can be a little confusing and stressful. Any ideas?
- Not David Bowie
Nope. No ideas for you. Well, you should probably get to working on your not-so-fun and not-so-interesting chores. You probably have to set the table. If you want to make the chores more fun, set the table with pineapple, and everyone can eat them before dinner.
There have been lots of changes going on in my life lately. First my Dad got a new job, so we moved to a new state. For a little while, we lived with my grandparents, then we moved into our own house. Then, after just a few months, we moved again. I started at a new school, but then I changed to a different school. On top of all of that, there's a new baby in our house.
I like all of the changes, but it can be a little confusing and stressful. Any ideas?
- Not David Bowie
Nope. No ideas for you. Well, you should probably get to working on your not-so-fun and not-so-interesting chores. You probably have to set the table. If you want to make the chores more fun, set the table with pineapple, and everyone can eat them before dinner.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Dr. Sadie Takes on the Middle East
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I've been watching the news lately, and it's got me worried and sad. The Arabs and Israelis are fighting. They are bombing neighborhoods, and the people who are getting hurt are just "regular folks," not the ones making the decisions to fight. What can they do to stop fighting?
Concerned American
Maybe they could get Tropeo (editor's note: Tropeo is a pirate in a children's song) to stop the fighting. He would say "hey you guys, you get out and go on my ship." If people like to fight each other, they should go on ships, so they can get money and gold and doubloons from the the rich people. This will take them away from the people who don't want to fight. If Tropeo saw one of those things, he would stop it. He would say "hey, who are you?" and he would bring them down to the dungeon.
People who fight all the time are like the Wicked Witch of the West or the East. They do bad things, but they're not bad people.
Maybe the people who want to fight should fight each other, and not the people who don't want to fight. They could fight, and Tropeo could throw them in the dungeon, where they could fight each other all day and all night. The rest of the people would be happy because the fighting would be done.
I've been watching the news lately, and it's got me worried and sad. The Arabs and Israelis are fighting. They are bombing neighborhoods, and the people who are getting hurt are just "regular folks," not the ones making the decisions to fight. What can they do to stop fighting?
Concerned American
Maybe they could get Tropeo (editor's note: Tropeo is a pirate in a children's song) to stop the fighting. He would say "hey you guys, you get out and go on my ship." If people like to fight each other, they should go on ships, so they can get money and gold and doubloons from the the rich people. This will take them away from the people who don't want to fight. If Tropeo saw one of those things, he would stop it. He would say "hey, who are you?" and he would bring them down to the dungeon.
People who fight all the time are like the Wicked Witch of the West or the East. They do bad things, but they're not bad people.
Maybe the people who want to fight should fight each other, and not the people who don't want to fight. They could fight, and Tropeo could throw them in the dungeon, where they could fight each other all day and all night. The rest of the people would be happy because the fighting would be done.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Winter Blues
Dear Dr. Sadie,
Winter is fast approaching, and it always makes me a little sad. Do you have any good winter recipes to chase the blues away?
- Brownie Groundhog
I like to eat cookies in the wintertime. I like gingerbread cookies the best. First you make the dough, then you add the other stuff. Then you add raisins for the nose and strawberries on its feet. Then you add fingers and fingernails with blueberries. Then you put buttons on with raisins. Then you use two chocolate chips for a tie. Then you bake it and then you eat it. Make sure you bake it at the perfect temperature.
Winter is fast approaching, and it always makes me a little sad. Do you have any good winter recipes to chase the blues away?
- Brownie Groundhog
I like to eat cookies in the wintertime. I like gingerbread cookies the best. First you make the dough, then you add the other stuff. Then you add raisins for the nose and strawberries on its feet. Then you add fingers and fingernails with blueberries. Then you put buttons on with raisins. Then you use two chocolate chips for a tie. Then you bake it and then you eat it. Make sure you bake it at the perfect temperature.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Scout's Honor
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I am 8 years old, and all of my friends are joining the girl scouts. I want to join, too, but my Dad says, "no daughter of mine is going to join a proto-fascist, paramilitary organization that perpetuates homophobia and promotes mindless consumerism." I just don't want to be left out of a fun activity with great outfits. How can I convince him?
- Confused Wannabe Scout
You can wait to grow up a little bit. You can join them when you're 10 years old. You can tell your Daddy that you are willing to wait, but you want to do it when you are 10 years old. Then you can wear the fun outfit and go on fun hay rides.
I am 8 years old, and all of my friends are joining the girl scouts. I want to join, too, but my Dad says, "no daughter of mine is going to join a proto-fascist, paramilitary organization that perpetuates homophobia and promotes mindless consumerism." I just don't want to be left out of a fun activity with great outfits. How can I convince him?
- Confused Wannabe Scout
You can wait to grow up a little bit. You can join them when you're 10 years old. You can tell your Daddy that you are willing to wait, but you want to do it when you are 10 years old. Then you can wear the fun outfit and go on fun hay rides.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Paging Dr. Feelgood
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I am very afraid of doctors. I always have been. I have developed a pain in my side, and it won't go away. I am afraid to go to the doctor, but I don't want to get sicker. What should I do?
- Mediphobic
You should call me. I'm a doctor, and I'm not scary. I'm nice. If you came to me, I would actually bring you to my Mama.
You can come over when I'm older, but first you have to go to a different doctor. The doctor would say, "don't worry," so you wouldn't feel scared. When I'm scared, I like to snuggle with Mama. Maybe you can snuggle with your Teddy.
I am very afraid of doctors. I always have been. I have developed a pain in my side, and it won't go away. I am afraid to go to the doctor, but I don't want to get sicker. What should I do?
- Mediphobic
You should call me. I'm a doctor, and I'm not scary. I'm nice. If you came to me, I would actually bring you to my Mama.
You can come over when I'm older, but first you have to go to a different doctor. The doctor would say, "don't worry," so you wouldn't feel scared. When I'm scared, I like to snuggle with Mama. Maybe you can snuggle with your Teddy.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
We Bought a Zoo?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My family and I are starting a zoo. We are looking to start some really spectacular exhibits to bring people in. What are three animals that we should get to start our zoo?
- Dr. Do-a-little-more-than-a-little
A Bird, a bear, a lion.
You should get a bird because a bird flaps around. People like that. You should get a parrot. They are very colorful.
You should get a bear because it roars. People like that, too. It's also brown and very pretty.
You should get a lion because a lion is ferocious. People like ferocious animals.
At this zoo, you should dress all your animals as camels. Camels have bumps on their backs. Bumps are funny. (singing) Ba bump. Ba bump. Ba bump ba bump ba bump.
My family and I are starting a zoo. We are looking to start some really spectacular exhibits to bring people in. What are three animals that we should get to start our zoo?
- Dr. Do-a-little-more-than-a-little
A Bird, a bear, a lion.
You should get a bird because a bird flaps around. People like that. You should get a parrot. They are very colorful.
You should get a bear because it roars. People like that, too. It's also brown and very pretty.
You should get a lion because a lion is ferocious. People like ferocious animals.
At this zoo, you should dress all your animals as camels. Camels have bumps on their backs. Bumps are funny. (singing) Ba bump. Ba bump. Ba bump ba bump ba bump.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
What Cave?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I really like the song, "The Cave" by Mumford and Sons, but I can't figure out what it's about. What are they talking about in that song?
- Confused Mumford Fan
That song is about caves, silly. I like that they sing about caves, because I've never been in a cave before. The whole song is about caves and nothing else.
I really like the song, "The Cave" by Mumford and Sons, but I can't figure out what it's about. What are they talking about in that song?
- Confused Mumford Fan
That song is about caves, silly. I like that they sing about caves, because I've never been in a cave before. The whole song is about caves and nothing else.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
New Kid On The Block
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I have been going to the same school since I was little. This week, a new kid started. He's very shy, and he hasn't made any friends yet. What can I do to help him?
- Friendly Student
You can pick him up. That would help. Maybe the new kid is only shy of people that go to school. You could hold his hand and drive him home. He wouldn't be shy there. You could be his babysitter. Then you could be friends.
I have been going to the same school since I was little. This week, a new kid started. He's very shy, and he hasn't made any friends yet. What can I do to help him?
- Friendly Student
You can pick him up. That would help. Maybe the new kid is only shy of people that go to school. You could hold his hand and drive him home. He wouldn't be shy there. You could be his babysitter. Then you could be friends.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Which Neighbors?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I live in a lovely neighborhood with beautiful homes and tree-lined streets. It's ideal, except for one thing - there are no kids for my two sons (ages 6 and 10) to play with. Thankfully, a family moved in down the street with two sons (also ages 6 and 10). We were very happy with the situation. Our kids get along really well, and everything seemed fine. Then we found out that the parents are practicing witches.
We are devout Christians. We're not sure what to make of the situation. Our church preaches that these people are doomed, and that we should shun them. They are lovely people though, and we're not sure what to do. Any advice?
- Love Thy Neighbor?
You should cast some spells on the witches. You could turn them into juice - apple juice. Then you could drink them. Their kids could also drink the apple juice.
Another thing you could do is blast the witches off to space. They would take their kids with them. Then your sons would be lonely again.
I live in a lovely neighborhood with beautiful homes and tree-lined streets. It's ideal, except for one thing - there are no kids for my two sons (ages 6 and 10) to play with. Thankfully, a family moved in down the street with two sons (also ages 6 and 10). We were very happy with the situation. Our kids get along really well, and everything seemed fine. Then we found out that the parents are practicing witches.
We are devout Christians. We're not sure what to make of the situation. Our church preaches that these people are doomed, and that we should shun them. They are lovely people though, and we're not sure what to do. Any advice?
- Love Thy Neighbor?
You should cast some spells on the witches. You could turn them into juice - apple juice. Then you could drink them. Their kids could also drink the apple juice.
Another thing you could do is blast the witches off to space. They would take their kids with them. Then your sons would be lonely again.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Dressing only in blue
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I am having a little problem with my three year old daughter. It's getting colder out, and she still wants to wear her summer clothes. It's starting to get very cold out where we live, and I can't let her out of the house in short sleeve dresses. When I try to get her to wear warmer clothes or layer up, she throws a giant fit. What should I do?
- Papa Icicle
You should buy fancier clothes and things that are warm with no sleeves, like princess robes. Darling Angels will give her short sleeve dresses when it gets warmer out.
You should make your daughter get into warmer clothes by helping her get into the clothes.
I am having a little problem with my three year old daughter. It's getting colder out, and she still wants to wear her summer clothes. It's starting to get very cold out where we live, and I can't let her out of the house in short sleeve dresses. When I try to get her to wear warmer clothes or layer up, she throws a giant fit. What should I do?
- Papa Icicle
You should buy fancier clothes and things that are warm with no sleeves, like princess robes. Darling Angels will give her short sleeve dresses when it gets warmer out.
You should make your daughter get into warmer clothes by helping her get into the clothes.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
School Blues
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I just started at a new school, and I don't like it. Every morning I wake up and I don't want to go to school. Once I get there, I have a good time, but I am filled with anxiety before I go. What should I do?
- On the road to illiteracy
You should probably go to another school. Maybe you should go to middle school. A middle school is what big kids go to. When you go to middle school you have to be brave. Middle school is lots of fun. Everyone plays and has fun. You go to recess and have snack afterwards. That sounds like a good school to me.
I just started at a new school, and I don't like it. Every morning I wake up and I don't want to go to school. Once I get there, I have a good time, but I am filled with anxiety before I go. What should I do?
- On the road to illiteracy
You should probably go to another school. Maybe you should go to middle school. A middle school is what big kids go to. When you go to middle school you have to be brave. Middle school is lots of fun. Everyone plays and has fun. You go to recess and have snack afterwards. That sounds like a good school to me.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Accidental Bumping
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I am so ashamed. Last week, in a supermarket parking lot, I accidentally hit a parked car with my car. I did a little damage (a dent to a door panel), but no one was around, so I left. I feel awful, but I can't afford to pay for the damage, nor can I afford a hike in my insurance. I wrote down the license plate number, but now I'm scared to call for fear of having to pay the money and for being charged with leaving the scene of an accident.
- Scared
You should just keep driving to wherever you are going. You shouldn't tell the person. Maybe the person with the car will be mad at you.
I am so ashamed. Last week, in a supermarket parking lot, I accidentally hit a parked car with my car. I did a little damage (a dent to a door panel), but no one was around, so I left. I feel awful, but I can't afford to pay for the damage, nor can I afford a hike in my insurance. I wrote down the license plate number, but now I'm scared to call for fear of having to pay the money and for being charged with leaving the scene of an accident.
- Scared
You should just keep driving to wherever you are going. You shouldn't tell the person. Maybe the person with the car will be mad at you.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Baby Blues
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My sister and I have always been close. We even moved to the same town 3 years ago - primarily to be near each other, but also to be away from our toxic mother, who is fine in small doses, but not in big ones.
Everything is fine, except that my sister is 8 1/2 months pregnant with her first child. She has asked Mom to come and stay with her for 3 months after the baby is born. I want to be there for my sister when she needs me, but I don't know if I can spend that much time with Mom. What should I do?
- Sister with a Toxic Mom
I think you should get some olives. Maybe your mother likes olives. Then you can all eat the olives together, and you will like each other more. If that doesn't work, then you should stay away from the house with the baby in it. Then you won't have to see your mother.
My sister and I have always been close. We even moved to the same town 3 years ago - primarily to be near each other, but also to be away from our toxic mother, who is fine in small doses, but not in big ones.
Everything is fine, except that my sister is 8 1/2 months pregnant with her first child. She has asked Mom to come and stay with her for 3 months after the baby is born. I want to be there for my sister when she needs me, but I don't know if I can spend that much time with Mom. What should I do?
- Sister with a Toxic Mom
I think you should get some olives. Maybe your mother likes olives. Then you can all eat the olives together, and you will like each other more. If that doesn't work, then you should stay away from the house with the baby in it. Then you won't have to see your mother.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Summer Bummer
Dear Dr. Sadie,
Summer is coming to an end. Soon I will have to go back to school. Summer is my favorite season. I am a little sad about this. Do you have any fun activities I can do in the Autumn that I can look forward to?
- Sad about Summer
I think so. You can watch Busytown while your Mama washes dishes to get ready for people to come over for dinner. In the Autumn you can rake the leaves. That's fun. Afterwards, you can play in the leaf piles. You can go apple picking. Halloween is in the Autumn. I love Halloween. My favorite part is the treats. One time I used my hat as a bucket to carry all of my candy. I also love Thanksgiving. Turkey is my favorite part. I love turkey.
Summer is coming to an end. Soon I will have to go back to school. Summer is my favorite season. I am a little sad about this. Do you have any fun activities I can do in the Autumn that I can look forward to?
- Sad about Summer
I think so. You can watch Busytown while your Mama washes dishes to get ready for people to come over for dinner. In the Autumn you can rake the leaves. That's fun. Afterwards, you can play in the leaf piles. You can go apple picking. Halloween is in the Autumn. I love Halloween. My favorite part is the treats. One time I used my hat as a bucket to carry all of my candy. I also love Thanksgiving. Turkey is my favorite part. I love turkey.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Try-athlon
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My doctor wants me to lose some weight. I thought a good way to do that would be to train for something. I am running a mini-triathlon in 3 months. I have a workout schedule all set up, but I need to know what I should eat. Do you have any suggestions for a training diet?
- Soon-To-Be-Fit Guy
I think I do. Here's what I think you should eat -- soup. Veggie soup is the best. That's all you should eat. Veggie soup and nothing else.
My doctor wants me to lose some weight. I thought a good way to do that would be to train for something. I am running a mini-triathlon in 3 months. I have a workout schedule all set up, but I need to know what I should eat. Do you have any suggestions for a training diet?
- Soon-To-Be-Fit Guy
I think I do. Here's what I think you should eat -- soup. Veggie soup is the best. That's all you should eat. Veggie soup and nothing else.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Clapping Angels?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
Last night there was a big thunderstorm, and it scared me. What causes thunder?
- Under the Bed and Frightened
Thunder is clapping in the sky. The clouds are clapping. They are clapping because there is a gas tank that they knocked over. It makes a very loud noise.
I'm a little scared of thunder, too. When I'm scared of the thunder, I like to snuggle with Mama and Dada. I also like to have a little drink. When I'm done with the drink, I like to squirt a little at the clouds, and then they will stop.
Last night there was a big thunderstorm, and it scared me. What causes thunder?
- Under the Bed and Frightened
Thunder is clapping in the sky. The clouds are clapping. They are clapping because there is a gas tank that they knocked over. It makes a very loud noise.
I'm a little scared of thunder, too. When I'm scared of the thunder, I like to snuggle with Mama and Dada. I also like to have a little drink. When I'm done with the drink, I like to squirt a little at the clouds, and then they will stop.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Stinky Dogs Don't Bite
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I have a big, loveable dog. His name is Tootie. He's everything anyone could want in a dog - cuddly, affectionate, well-behaved and friendly to strangers. The problem is that he smells terrible. He has a room-clearing stench. I don't mind so much, but it's making my social life disappear. What should I do?
- Tootie Lover
My Grandpa has a dog named Nellie. She's really smelly. She's especially smelly when she goes down to the river. Maybe you should keep Tootie away from the river. You could give him a wash. You should use shampoo all over him, because he's very hairy. Dog hair is called fur. You could wash him in kiwi water and dandelion water, so he would smell nice.
I have a big, loveable dog. His name is Tootie. He's everything anyone could want in a dog - cuddly, affectionate, well-behaved and friendly to strangers. The problem is that he smells terrible. He has a room-clearing stench. I don't mind so much, but it's making my social life disappear. What should I do?
- Tootie Lover
My Grandpa has a dog named Nellie. She's really smelly. She's especially smelly when she goes down to the river. Maybe you should keep Tootie away from the river. You could give him a wash. You should use shampoo all over him, because he's very hairy. Dog hair is called fur. You could wash him in kiwi water and dandelion water, so he would smell nice.
Friday, July 20, 2012
This Pocket Needs a Refill
Dear Dr. Sadie,
A few years ago, when my brother was having a bit of a rough patch, I lent him $5000. I told him that I wasn't concerned with repayment schedules or interest, but that he should pay me back when he could. He's now back on his feet and making a good living, but he's made no mention of the money. He has made no attempt to even start paying me back. Should I discuss a payment schedule with him or be more patient?
- Brother Moneybags
Maybe you should be a little bit more patient because he's in a rough patch. That doesn't sound like a good place to be. You should also eat some berries, because I think you like berries. I like raspberries the best.
A few years ago, when my brother was having a bit of a rough patch, I lent him $5000. I told him that I wasn't concerned with repayment schedules or interest, but that he should pay me back when he could. He's now back on his feet and making a good living, but he's made no mention of the money. He has made no attempt to even start paying me back. Should I discuss a payment schedule with him or be more patient?
- Brother Moneybags
Maybe you should be a little bit more patient because he's in a rough patch. That doesn't sound like a good place to be. You should also eat some berries, because I think you like berries. I like raspberries the best.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Puppy Love, Sadie-style
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I am 13 years old. I really like a girl in my class. How do I tell her?
- Crushing
You should say "Please" and "Thank You" to her. That's how you are nice to people. You should ask her on a play date. You can play in a pool or something like that. You should give her sun tan lotion. She will really like that. Maybe you should buy a new house where you can both live together.
I am 13 years old. I really like a girl in my class. How do I tell her?
- Crushing
You should say "Please" and "Thank You" to her. That's how you are nice to people. You should ask her on a play date. You can play in a pool or something like that. You should give her sun tan lotion. She will really like that. Maybe you should buy a new house where you can both live together.
Monday, July 16, 2012
The Dreaded Pool of Doom
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My wife and I just bought our dream home. It's everything we wanted and more. Unfortunately, it has a pool. My wife is happy about this, but I have a serious fear of pools, ever since I nearly drowned when I was a child. I've never told her about this fear, and I don't want to tell her. Still, it seems that it's only a matter of time before it comes up. I can only excuse myself from swimming for so long. What can I do?
- Not Exactly Johnny Weismuller
Maybe you should get something different for your home. That way your wife can have a pool and you can have something different. Maybe you could get a kitty cat. You could name the cat Tooey.
My wife and I just bought our dream home. It's everything we wanted and more. Unfortunately, it has a pool. My wife is happy about this, but I have a serious fear of pools, ever since I nearly drowned when I was a child. I've never told her about this fear, and I don't want to tell her. Still, it seems that it's only a matter of time before it comes up. I can only excuse myself from swimming for so long. What can I do?
- Not Exactly Johnny Weismuller
Maybe you should get something different for your home. That way your wife can have a pool and you can have something different. Maybe you could get a kitty cat. You could name the cat Tooey.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Should I Stay or Should I Go
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I'm a gay man. I've been seeing the same guy for three months now and I'm starting to fall for him....hard. However, he says he's not in a place in his life to be in a relationship. But, I'm not willing to give up so easily...even though I know I'm not the only person he's seeing (although I'm fairly certain we have a much stronger connection than he does with the other boy). He says he cares a lot about me and never wants to let go of my hand when we say good bye. Should I protect myself from heartache and just drop things now? Or should I press on and see where this story can go?
Yours Truly,
Mr. Too Much Love To Give
You should go find a new friend because you want to. That's all I have to say about that one.
I'm a gay man. I've been seeing the same guy for three months now and I'm starting to fall for him....hard. However, he says he's not in a place in his life to be in a relationship. But, I'm not willing to give up so easily...even though I know I'm not the only person he's seeing (although I'm fairly certain we have a much stronger connection than he does with the other boy). He says he cares a lot about me and never wants to let go of my hand when we say good bye. Should I protect myself from heartache and just drop things now? Or should I press on and see where this story can go?
Yours Truly,
Mr. Too Much Love To Give
You should go find a new friend because you want to. That's all I have to say about that one.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Independence Day
Dear Dr. Sadie,
How do you like to celebrate the 4th of July?
- Founding Dada
I like to dress up like a princess. I like to be a princess that lives with a prince. I like to march in parades. I like to watch the fireworks. I don't like to bring food to the 4th of July. That's not right. People shouldn't eat on the 4th of July.
How do you like to celebrate the 4th of July?
- Founding Dada
I like to dress up like a princess. I like to be a princess that lives with a prince. I like to march in parades. I like to watch the fireworks. I don't like to bring food to the 4th of July. That's not right. People shouldn't eat on the 4th of July.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Let the buyer beware
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I recently sold a car to a friend. Right before I sold it to him, I brought it to the mechanic, who did a tune up and checked it out. He told me it was fine.
My friend and I agreed on a price. Two months after he bought it, the engine died. My friend says that I owe him for half of the repairs. What do you think?
- Seller's Remorse
You should both get new cars for your friends. This old car sounds lousy. You should get an Apple Car like Lowly Worm drives.
I recently sold a car to a friend. Right before I sold it to him, I brought it to the mechanic, who did a tune up and checked it out. He told me it was fine.
My friend and I agreed on a price. Two months after he bought it, the engine died. My friend says that I owe him for half of the repairs. What do you think?
- Seller's Remorse
You should both get new cars for your friends. This old car sounds lousy. You should get an Apple Car like Lowly Worm drives.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Vacation
Dr Sadie is at the Conference of the American Society of Toddler Psychologists. She's delivering the keynote address entitled, "Resolving Issues in the Divided Psyche: Are We Caillou, or are we Thomas the Train?" She will return in a few weeks.
Monday, June 4, 2012
The Fundamental Question
Dear Dr. Sadie,
What are the keys to long life and happiness?
- Dolly the Llama
For such a long life, they don't even have a day or two to move to a new house.
To be happy, have all of your cousins come over to your house. When my cousins don't come over, I'm sad. One of my favorite cousins is my cousin Ella.
What are the keys to long life and happiness?
- Dolly the Llama
For such a long life, they don't even have a day or two to move to a new house.
To be happy, have all of your cousins come over to your house. When my cousins don't come over, I'm sad. One of my favorite cousins is my cousin Ella.
Friday, June 1, 2012
A Snowball's Chance in WHERE?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My cat, "Snowball," ran away from home. I am very sad. I looked everywhere for her, but I couldn't find her. I put up flyers, but no one called. I am starting to think that she's never coming home. I am a little lonely, and I want to get another cat, but it feels like I am betraying Snowball. How long should I wait to get another cat?
- Devastated Cat Owner
You should keep trying to get Snowball back. You should go on a ride to the farm. Snowball will be at the farm. I think that Snowball loves to play with the pumpkins at the farm.
If you don't find Snowball at the farm, you should get another cat. You can name this cat Snowball.
My cat, "Snowball," ran away from home. I am very sad. I looked everywhere for her, but I couldn't find her. I put up flyers, but no one called. I am starting to think that she's never coming home. I am a little lonely, and I want to get another cat, but it feels like I am betraying Snowball. How long should I wait to get another cat?
- Devastated Cat Owner
You should keep trying to get Snowball back. You should go on a ride to the farm. Snowball will be at the farm. I think that Snowball loves to play with the pumpkins at the farm.
If you don't find Snowball at the farm, you should get another cat. You can name this cat Snowball.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Tulane or not Tulane
Dear Dr. Sadie,
Why doesn't Tulane offer PhD funding for its students when they are admitted in the program?
- Frustrated Grad Student
I don't think that they should offer funding. You don't deserve any money. They can give you a chocolate coin. That's all you should get.
You should be giving the school some responsibility.
Why doesn't Tulane offer PhD funding for its students when they are admitted in the program?
- Frustrated Grad Student
I don't think that they should offer funding. You don't deserve any money. They can give you a chocolate coin. That's all you should get.
You should be giving the school some responsibility.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Summer Recipes
Dear Dr. Sadie,
Do you have any favorite summer recipes you want to share?
- Summer cook
I love to make baked potato with broccoli and sour cream in it. First you bake the potato, then you get some broccoli. Then you put it in there. Then you get the sour cream and put it in there, too. That's how it works.
Do you have any favorite summer recipes you want to share?
- Summer cook
I love to make baked potato with broccoli and sour cream in it. First you bake the potato, then you get some broccoli. Then you put it in there. Then you get the sour cream and put it in there, too. That's how it works.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Dr. Sadie takes on housing bubbles
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I need to move, but I'm not sure how to get a new house where I'm going. What should I look for? Or should I build my own dream house?
Transitioning
You should get a house up in Cabot. You should make sure the house has a bathroom, a sink, and a toilet. It should have a stove, a clock and lots and lots of food. It should be purple.
I need to move, but I'm not sure how to get a new house where I'm going. What should I look for? Or should I build my own dream house?
Transitioning
You should get a house up in Cabot. You should make sure the house has a bathroom, a sink, and a toilet. It should have a stove, a clock and lots and lots of food. It should be purple.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Dr. Sadie Turns the Tables
To our readers,
Today, Dr. Sadie asked if she could be the one to ask questions and if her readers could answer them. So, please, post a comment to answer this question, directly from Dr. Sadie.
"How would you like to be an advice doctor, like me?"
Today, Dr. Sadie asked if she could be the one to ask questions and if her readers could answer them. So, please, post a comment to answer this question, directly from Dr. Sadie.
"How would you like to be an advice doctor, like me?"
Monday, May 21, 2012
History
Dear Dr. Sadie,
How did you get to be a doctor?
- Curious
This is a very hard question. I'm not a real doctor. I'm a dentist.
One reason I became a dentist is that I always wanted to be a dentist when I grew up. Now I'm a dentist.
As a dentist, I give people haircuts, and I get people their teeth clean, but mostly I give people haircuts. I'm mostly a haircutter. That's all I do.
I went to school to be a dentist. It was a long time. I went for SIXTEEN DAYS!!! It was long. It was very easy. I didn't like it very much.
How did you get to be a doctor?
- Curious
This is a very hard question. I'm not a real doctor. I'm a dentist.
One reason I became a dentist is that I always wanted to be a dentist when I grew up. Now I'm a dentist.
As a dentist, I give people haircuts, and I get people their teeth clean, but mostly I give people haircuts. I'm mostly a haircutter. That's all I do.
I went to school to be a dentist. It was a long time. I went for SIXTEEN DAYS!!! It was long. It was very easy. I didn't like it very much.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Holidays
Dear Dr. Sadie,
What is your favorite holiday?
- Just Curious
Christmas!!!! Because it's snowing outside. I like to sing "Hark the Herald Angels Sing." I like to get a blanket and wrap it around the tree, just like Linus did. I'll get my favorite, favorite blanket.
What is your favorite holiday?
- Just Curious
Christmas!!!! Because it's snowing outside. I like to sing "Hark the Herald Angels Sing." I like to get a blanket and wrap it around the tree, just like Linus did. I'll get my favorite, favorite blanket.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
The Choice of a Lifetime
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I am graduating from high school in a month. I am very excited about leaving high school. I have been admitted to my top choice of colleges, and I will be attending in the fall. I'm not sure what to major in, though. I am worried about getting a good job in this economy. I'll be leaving school over $120,000 in debt, and I'm worried that if I study the wrong thing I'll be part of the group of unemployed recent graduates accruing more and more debt.
Help, Dr. Sadie!
- Confused Van Dimas High School Senior
I don't know, friend. This is a hard question. You can study to be a doctor. I like my doctor. She's very nice.
I am graduating from high school in a month. I am very excited about leaving high school. I have been admitted to my top choice of colleges, and I will be attending in the fall. I'm not sure what to major in, though. I am worried about getting a good job in this economy. I'll be leaving school over $120,000 in debt, and I'm worried that if I study the wrong thing I'll be part of the group of unemployed recent graduates accruing more and more debt.
Help, Dr. Sadie!
- Confused Van Dimas High School Senior
I don't know, friend. This is a hard question. You can study to be a doctor. I like my doctor. She's very nice.
Monday, May 14, 2012
The Candy Fairy?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
Where do jelly beans come from?
- Curious
They come from ice cream stores. The ice cream man plants jelly beans in the ground, and it grows up to be a big mama or a dada, and it makes lots and lots of little jelly beans. When he puts lots of them in the ground, he can say what kind of flavors they are, so you get lots of flavors like mango, cherry, grape, but they don't have coconut.
Where do jelly beans come from?
- Curious
They come from ice cream stores. The ice cream man plants jelly beans in the ground, and it grows up to be a big mama or a dada, and it makes lots and lots of little jelly beans. When he puts lots of them in the ground, he can say what kind of flavors they are, so you get lots of flavors like mango, cherry, grape, but they don't have coconut.
Friday, May 11, 2012
To taco or not to taco
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My doctor told me that I need to give up my favorite food in order to improve my health. I'm not sure that life is worth living without it. What should I do?
- Puzzled and Hurt
You should keep eating that food. I think you need a new doctor. This one sounds lousy.
My doctor told me that I need to give up my favorite food in order to improve my health. I'm not sure that life is worth living without it. What should I do?
- Puzzled and Hurt
You should keep eating that food. I think you need a new doctor. This one sounds lousy.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Which one is Mr. Right?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I am romantically involved with two different men. Neither one knows of the other's existence. One is kind, stable and loving. He has a good job and will be an excellent provider. There is no spark between us, but a life with him will be good, predictable and secure. The other man is a total slacker. He has no job and no prospects. He treats me poorly or indifferently, but the passion is unbelievable.
I am starting to think about settling down, and I recognize I need to pick one of these two men. Who should I pick?
- Confused
You should go with the bad provider, because he needs to live with someone who will take care of him. He sounds like he needs a lot of help.
I am romantically involved with two different men. Neither one knows of the other's existence. One is kind, stable and loving. He has a good job and will be an excellent provider. There is no spark between us, but a life with him will be good, predictable and secure. The other man is a total slacker. He has no job and no prospects. He treats me poorly or indifferently, but the passion is unbelievable.
I am starting to think about settling down, and I recognize I need to pick one of these two men. Who should I pick?
- Confused
You should go with the bad provider, because he needs to live with someone who will take care of him. He sounds like he needs a lot of help.
Monday, May 7, 2012
The grinch is into other holidays?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I live in a wonderful neighborhood. We all really get along and feel a deep sense of community. All of us, that is, except "Mr. Johnson." He is grumpy and mean to everyone.
Every year, on Memorial Day, we have a neighborhood block party. We all have good, clean fun, except Mr. Johnson, who complains about it bitterly. We are always sure to invite him, and we try to be respectful of his boundaries, but he objects to the noise and the added traffic on his street. This year he has said that if we have the party he is going to call the police and have it shut down.
What should we do?
- Hooville Neighbors
You should call the policeman before Mr. Johnson does. You should tell the police that he is being mean, and the police will tell him, "hey you mean guy, stop being so mean."
I think Mr. Johnson grew up without a Mommy and a Daddy, and that's why he's so mean. Maybe the police will be able to help him find a Mommy and Daddy, and he won't be so mean. Maybe they can help him find a little girl in a princess dress. Her name will be Snow White.
I live in a wonderful neighborhood. We all really get along and feel a deep sense of community. All of us, that is, except "Mr. Johnson." He is grumpy and mean to everyone.
Every year, on Memorial Day, we have a neighborhood block party. We all have good, clean fun, except Mr. Johnson, who complains about it bitterly. We are always sure to invite him, and we try to be respectful of his boundaries, but he objects to the noise and the added traffic on his street. This year he has said that if we have the party he is going to call the police and have it shut down.
What should we do?
- Hooville Neighbors
You should call the policeman before Mr. Johnson does. You should tell the police that he is being mean, and the police will tell him, "hey you mean guy, stop being so mean."
I think Mr. Johnson grew up without a Mommy and a Daddy, and that's why he's so mean. Maybe the police will be able to help him find a Mommy and Daddy, and he won't be so mean. Maybe they can help him find a little girl in a princess dress. Her name will be Snow White.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Can you fix a home
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My wife recently left me and moved back to Canada. She also took my three children with her. Two weeks ago, I learned that she has also broken into my bank account and stolen the money I was saving to go to visit my kids. Since then, she has apologized, is returning the money, and has started counseling. She has now been diagnosed with several mental illnesses. I need to be a part of my children's lives, and so I need to work with her. But I don't know how I can work with someone I don't trust. What can I do?
- Broken Home
You should get some more kids. You can get four kids. Four is more than three. You should forget about your wife and kids. Canada is far away.
My wife recently left me and moved back to Canada. She also took my three children with her. Two weeks ago, I learned that she has also broken into my bank account and stolen the money I was saving to go to visit my kids. Since then, she has apologized, is returning the money, and has started counseling. She has now been diagnosed with several mental illnesses. I need to be a part of my children's lives, and so I need to work with her. But I don't know how I can work with someone I don't trust. What can I do?
- Broken Home
You should get some more kids. You can get four kids. Four is more than three. You should forget about your wife and kids. Canada is far away.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Upgrade to business class?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, and it's been good, but not great. There are many differences. One of them is that I have just finished an MBA, and he's a high school dropout. The educational disparity doesn't bother either of us, but the realities of it have created some distance.
He has a great job for someone of his educational level, and he's afraid to lose the job by moving somewhere else. I have recently been given a great opportunity, but it would mean moving across the country. What should I do?
- Reluctant
You should move. I don't like your boyfriend. He's not a good guy.
You can move, and stay with him, but I don't think it will work. That's too far. You should move for the job and do nothing else.
I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, and it's been good, but not great. There are many differences. One of them is that I have just finished an MBA, and he's a high school dropout. The educational disparity doesn't bother either of us, but the realities of it have created some distance.
He has a great job for someone of his educational level, and he's afraid to lose the job by moving somewhere else. I have recently been given a great opportunity, but it would mean moving across the country. What should I do?
- Reluctant
You should move. I don't like your boyfriend. He's not a good guy.
You can move, and stay with him, but I don't think it will work. That's too far. You should move for the job and do nothing else.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Black or white or red all over?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I am in the process of redecorating my house. What color should I paint my bedroom?
- Colorblind
Red. Red is a very pretty color. You should paint your room the red color like a brick or like a currant. You should change your blanket to an orange one. That will be a very pretty room.
I am in the process of redecorating my house. What color should I paint my bedroom?
- Colorblind
Red. Red is a very pretty color. You should paint your room the red color like a brick or like a currant. You should change your blanket to an orange one. That will be a very pretty room.
Happy Birthday Dr. Sadie
Dr. Sadie is now three years old. Thank you to everyone who has written in this past year.
Now that she is three, Sadie has assured us that her advice is only getting better. She says, "I'm older now, Dada. I know lots of things."
Keep those letters coming.
Now that she is three, Sadie has assured us that her advice is only getting better. She says, "I'm older now, Dada. I know lots of things."
Keep those letters coming.
Friday, April 27, 2012
As always, Cher said it best
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 10 years. It was time. We had grown apart. Now I'm having trouble moving on. I am very depressed, and I have a hard time seeing happiness in my future. What should I do?
- Do you believe in life after love?
Nothing will happen to you unless you want it to. If you say "please," people will give you what you want. You could say "please" when you ask for a new boyfriend. Your new boyfriend will look like a yellow spoon. He's going to be very hairy, but he's not going to be nice.
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 10 years. It was time. We had grown apart. Now I'm having trouble moving on. I am very depressed, and I have a hard time seeing happiness in my future. What should I do?
- Do you believe in life after love?
Nothing will happen to you unless you want it to. If you say "please," people will give you what you want. You could say "please" when you ask for a new boyfriend. Your new boyfriend will look like a yellow spoon. He's going to be very hairy, but he's not going to be nice.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
What to get the man who has lazy relatives
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My brother-in-law, a good friend of mine, is celebrating his birthday, but I'm not sure what to do for him. He's not the kind of person who likes to get a lot of presents or a big fuss. But he's always been very generous to me and to everyone around him. What should I do for him?
Lazy Brother-In-Law
You should not get him a present. You should not bake him a cake. You should do nothing. All you should do is throw him a surprise birthday party. Mama doesn't want a surprise birthday party so (whispering) don't tell her we're going to throw a surprise birthday party, because it's a surprise.
My brother-in-law, a good friend of mine, is celebrating his birthday, but I'm not sure what to do for him. He's not the kind of person who likes to get a lot of presents or a big fuss. But he's always been very generous to me and to everyone around him. What should I do for him?
Lazy Brother-In-Law
You should not get him a present. You should not bake him a cake. You should do nothing. All you should do is throw him a surprise birthday party. Mama doesn't want a surprise birthday party so (whispering) don't tell her we're going to throw a surprise birthday party, because it's a surprise.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Jack Kerouac's Dreams
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I'm planning to travel a bit this summer. I'm going to see some family and friends in South America. After I was hoping to have an adventure all by myself- but some people think this is too dangerous. Dr. Sadie, should I travel by myself or take a friend?
Sincerely,
Never Alone
You should take a friend. You could take a friend from the forest. You should take a person - it's Orion. He's a good hunter. He can be a plane driver, too. You should go for five months. You can hunt while you are in South America. You should hunt with a camera, and you should teach Orion how to do that too. Orion shouldn't hurt the animals, and you shouldn't either.
I'm planning to travel a bit this summer. I'm going to see some family and friends in South America. After I was hoping to have an adventure all by myself- but some people think this is too dangerous. Dr. Sadie, should I travel by myself or take a friend?
Sincerely,
Never Alone
You should take a friend. You could take a friend from the forest. You should take a person - it's Orion. He's a good hunter. He can be a plane driver, too. You should go for five months. You can hunt while you are in South America. You should hunt with a camera, and you should teach Orion how to do that too. Orion shouldn't hurt the animals, and you shouldn't either.
Friday, April 20, 2012
To Cohabit or Not to Cohabit
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My girlfriend will be moving in to my place soon. I am looking forward to living with her, but some of her furniture is tacky and takes up a lot of space. For example, she has a big iron wine rack with room for 30 bottles -- but we barely drink any wine at home! How can I let her know that I love her, but not all of her stuff?
Cheers,
One Sofa is Enough
She doesn't like you. She likes flowers. She likes spaghetti and meatballs. She likes other people better than you.
You shouldn't move in together. You should play games with balloons. Then you should do nothing else together.
My girlfriend will be moving in to my place soon. I am looking forward to living with her, but some of her furniture is tacky and takes up a lot of space. For example, she has a big iron wine rack with room for 30 bottles -- but we barely drink any wine at home! How can I let her know that I love her, but not all of her stuff?
Cheers,
One Sofa is Enough
She doesn't like you. She likes flowers. She likes spaghetti and meatballs. She likes other people better than you.
You shouldn't move in together. You should play games with balloons. Then you should do nothing else together.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Moving to Seattle?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My daughter is 10 months old, and used to sleep very well. Recently, she has stopped liking her crib. Even if we rock her to sleep in the rocking chair, as soon as we lie her down in her bed, she stands up and cries very loudly. She gets quite upset when she is tired, but she won't go to sleep even if she is exhausted. That makes us very tired parents, too! What can we do to help her get the rest that she needs?
Sincerely,
Sleepless in North Carolina
You should not give her rest. You should give her medicine to go to sleep. It's called "sleep medicine." The medicine looks like a cat.
My daughter is 10 months old, and used to sleep very well. Recently, she has stopped liking her crib. Even if we rock her to sleep in the rocking chair, as soon as we lie her down in her bed, she stands up and cries very loudly. She gets quite upset when she is tired, but she won't go to sleep even if she is exhausted. That makes us very tired parents, too! What can we do to help her get the rest that she needs?
Sincerely,
Sleepless in North Carolina
You should not give her rest. You should give her medicine to go to sleep. It's called "sleep medicine." The medicine looks like a cat.
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Monday, April 16, 2012
Slave wages
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I have an issue. My master's program requires me to do an internship this summer. That means I have to give them money so I can work this entire summer for free. I am thinking that I should either work from home and do as little actual work as possible, or go for a paying job 40 hours a week so I can make minimum wage. What should I do?
Yours truly,
Free Labor
You should get a job. You should get a job to work in a house. You can build the house. That house will be for a person. That person's name is Sadie. You will make 40 cents dollars to build that house.
You shouldn't work at school. That doesn't sound very nice to me.
I have an issue. My master's program requires me to do an internship this summer. That means I have to give them money so I can work this entire summer for free. I am thinking that I should either work from home and do as little actual work as possible, or go for a paying job 40 hours a week so I can make minimum wage. What should I do?
Yours truly,
Free Labor
You should get a job. You should get a job to work in a house. You can build the house. That house will be for a person. That person's name is Sadie. You will make 40 cents dollars to build that house.
You shouldn't work at school. That doesn't sound very nice to me.
Friday, April 13, 2012
The Riddler Won Me Over
Dear Dr. Sadie,
Every week, I go to a comedy club and I watch people put on a comedy show. They're really funny and I always have a great time. I think I like one of the guys in the show, and would like to out with him sometime, but I don't know how to talk to him. What should I do?
Thanks,
Laughing, but nervous
You should laugh at the guy. You should say to the guy, "you are funny." You should ask him on a date. You can go to Mount Tom's to get jelly beans. (Editor's note: Mount Tom's is a local candy and ice cream shop in Dr. Sadie's town.) You can get ALL of the jelly beans. The funny guy should pay for all the jelly beans. After Mount Tom's, you can go dancing. You can do hula dancing.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
They Make Great Pets?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My parents are recently retired empty-nesters. They have no hobbies and aren't particularly active with anything. I am worried that they will spiral downward rapidly with nothing to do. I thought that getting them a pet would be a good way to get them engaged. What kind of pet do you suggest?
- Concerned Daughter
They should get a dog - a fish dog, because it would be MY fish-dog, and they would like to get a present from me. They can play with it. Fish-dogs walk like dogs, so they can take it to the park. They can play with it - fetch and tag. They can feed it fish food. It can sleep on the floor and its name will be Nellie.
My parents are recently retired empty-nesters. They have no hobbies and aren't particularly active with anything. I am worried that they will spiral downward rapidly with nothing to do. I thought that getting them a pet would be a good way to get them engaged. What kind of pet do you suggest?
- Concerned Daughter
They should get a dog - a fish dog, because it would be MY fish-dog, and they would like to get a present from me. They can play with it. Fish-dogs walk like dogs, so they can take it to the park. They can play with it - fetch and tag. They can feed it fish food. It can sleep on the floor and its name will be Nellie.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
What to get the boy that wants kittens
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My son is turning 8 this week. We've asked him what he wants for his birthday, and the answer is consistently, "an orange kitten." We love him and want him to be happy, but we both loathe cats, and I am very allergic. What should we do?
- How about some fish?
You shouldn't get a kitten. You should get him a bowl - a bowl that you wrap with silvery tinsel. That's all he should get.
My son is turning 8 this week. We've asked him what he wants for his birthday, and the answer is consistently, "an orange kitten." We love him and want him to be happy, but we both loathe cats, and I am very allergic. What should we do?
- How about some fish?
You shouldn't get a kitten. You should get him a bowl - a bowl that you wrap with silvery tinsel. That's all he should get.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Are we separated?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My husband of 4 years has never been what you'd call "close" or "affectionate." We sleep in separate beds. We have separate bank accounts. Yesterday he proposed that we take separate vacations this summer. What does it all mean?
- Am I separated?
It means that he wants to be separate from you. You should get a new husband. The new one should be someone else. I don't know exactly what he should be like, but he should be different from this one. I don't like this one.
My husband of 4 years has never been what you'd call "close" or "affectionate." We sleep in separate beds. We have separate bank accounts. Yesterday he proposed that we take separate vacations this summer. What does it all mean?
- Am I separated?
It means that he wants to be separate from you. You should get a new husband. The new one should be someone else. I don't know exactly what he should be like, but he should be different from this one. I don't like this one.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Overwhelmed
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I am a military spouse. My wife is stationed overseas for the next 9 months. I am at home with 7 kids, all under the age of 12. I am already going nuts. What can I do?
- Military Spouse in Dire Need
I have no idea what you should do. This sounds like a BIIIIG problem. Maybe you can take the kids to "Amaze Place" (editor's note: Amaze Place is an indoor playground at the local YMCA). That way the kids will climb around and get very tired. That's it. That's all you can do.
I am a military spouse. My wife is stationed overseas for the next 9 months. I am at home with 7 kids, all under the age of 12. I am already going nuts. What can I do?
- Military Spouse in Dire Need
I have no idea what you should do. This sounds like a BIIIIG problem. Maybe you can take the kids to "Amaze Place" (editor's note: Amaze Place is an indoor playground at the local YMCA). That way the kids will climb around and get very tired. That's it. That's all you can do.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Kids, these days
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I am a teacher. I have a hard time competing for students' attention with cell phones and other mobile devices. What can I do?
- Anachronistic Teacher
PS I teach Kindergarten
You should get a police officer. The police officer will tell the students "get off the phone, you students, and watch your teacher."
Maybe you should be more fun to your students. Maybe you can take them to the playground. Maybe you can go and play in the dirt. You should do nothing else.
I am a teacher. I have a hard time competing for students' attention with cell phones and other mobile devices. What can I do?
- Anachronistic Teacher
PS I teach Kindergarten
You should get a police officer. The police officer will tell the students "get off the phone, you students, and watch your teacher."
Maybe you should be more fun to your students. Maybe you can take them to the playground. Maybe you can go and play in the dirt. You should do nothing else.
Kids won't eat vegetables
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My daughter is 5 years old, and she refuses to eat her vegetables. I tried everything, but nothing works. What can I do?
- Worried Mama
You should feed your daughter fruit. I like mango. Caillou doesn't like vegetables, but he likes Chinese vegetables. Have you tried Chinese vegetables? I like most vegetables. I like broccoli and potatoes and artichokes and olives. Broccoli is very good in dinner. I like it in mac and cheese.
My daughter is 5 years old, and she refuses to eat her vegetables. I tried everything, but nothing works. What can I do?
- Worried Mama
You should feed your daughter fruit. I like mango. Caillou doesn't like vegetables, but he likes Chinese vegetables. Have you tried Chinese vegetables? I like most vegetables. I like broccoli and potatoes and artichokes and olives. Broccoli is very good in dinner. I like it in mac and cheese.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Why couldn't I be Rapunzel?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I have a little problem. Actually it's seven little problems. A little while back, I ran away from my troubles, seeking a change in location for a change of mind. I was just looking for a place to lay low and clear my head. I lucked into a cohousing situation with seven "little people" - all men. They seemed industrious and stable. They were willing to trade rent for domestic duties, and none of gave off a creepy vibe. Their only negative trait was that they all had an annoying habit of whistling any time any work needed to be done.
Fast forward six months. It turns out that they're all a little crazy. One is allergic to everything. One is narcoleptic. Another's not the brightest bulb in the drawer. One is overeducated and lords it over us all. One of them is so shy he hasn't come out of his room since I moved in. Another is just plain moody. The last one, worst of them all, is borderline gleeful all the time. It's just not natural.
I feel grateful for the opportunity to live with them, but I think the relationship has run its course. Still, I can't help feeling that without me around, they'd never wash their socks or cook a decent meal. How do I bow out gracefully without hurting their feelings or leaving them in the lurch?
- S. White
You should get some new roommates. They should be smiley. I like smiles. You should live with three roommates. Seven is too many. Their names should be DeeDee, DeeTee and DeeGee.
When you leave, you should say "good bye." You can say "thank you," too. They sound nice.
I have a little problem. Actually it's seven little problems. A little while back, I ran away from my troubles, seeking a change in location for a change of mind. I was just looking for a place to lay low and clear my head. I lucked into a cohousing situation with seven "little people" - all men. They seemed industrious and stable. They were willing to trade rent for domestic duties, and none of gave off a creepy vibe. Their only negative trait was that they all had an annoying habit of whistling any time any work needed to be done.
Fast forward six months. It turns out that they're all a little crazy. One is allergic to everything. One is narcoleptic. Another's not the brightest bulb in the drawer. One is overeducated and lords it over us all. One of them is so shy he hasn't come out of his room since I moved in. Another is just plain moody. The last one, worst of them all, is borderline gleeful all the time. It's just not natural.
I feel grateful for the opportunity to live with them, but I think the relationship has run its course. Still, I can't help feeling that without me around, they'd never wash their socks or cook a decent meal. How do I bow out gracefully without hurting their feelings or leaving them in the lurch?
- S. White
You should get some new roommates. They should be smiley. I like smiles. You should live with three roommates. Seven is too many. Their names should be DeeDee, DeeTee and DeeGee.
When you leave, you should say "good bye." You can say "thank you," too. They sound nice.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
School Daze
Dear Dr. Sadie,
My daughter is turning 3 soon, and she's about to start school. Do you have any advice for her?
- Worried Parent
Yes. I think that she can go to middle grade for the first few days. Then she can go to Hollywood and play games on her bed. In school, you don't learn anything. You just play and eat all day, then you go home for a nap. I don't like school very much.
My daughter is turning 3 soon, and she's about to start school. Do you have any advice for her?
- Worried Parent
Yes. I think that she can go to middle grade for the first few days. Then she can go to Hollywood and play games on her bed. In school, you don't learn anything. You just play and eat all day, then you go home for a nap. I don't like school very much.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Can't the hills take a nap?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I have a wonderful son, who is 8 years old. This year he gets to select the instrument he wants to play in the school band. Unfortunately he wants to play the drums. I am fine with listening to years of ear-splitting practice sessions and mediocre concerts as he improves, but this I cannot do, even in the name of love.
He's an early riser, and I'm certain that I will get no sleep in the years to come as he practices his newfound hobby. What can I do to encourage his musical enthusiasm and keep my sanity?
A Music Lover, Really
You should let him play the drums. When he's playing the drums, you should get out of there. Or, if you like, you can have him play the drums outside. It's more better if he plays the drums outside.
That's not fair, I don't think your son should play the drums inside. It's too noisy.
I have a wonderful son, who is 8 years old. This year he gets to select the instrument he wants to play in the school band. Unfortunately he wants to play the drums. I am fine with listening to years of ear-splitting practice sessions and mediocre concerts as he improves, but this I cannot do, even in the name of love.
He's an early riser, and I'm certain that I will get no sleep in the years to come as he practices his newfound hobby. What can I do to encourage his musical enthusiasm and keep my sanity?
A Music Lover, Really
You should let him play the drums. When he's playing the drums, you should get out of there. Or, if you like, you can have him play the drums outside. It's more better if he plays the drums outside.
That's not fair, I don't think your son should play the drums inside. It's too noisy.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
A Comb-Over Too?
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I am 17. My father is not aging gracefully. The waistline of his pants has started migrating north, and he is losing his hair rapidly. When he drives, he routinely goes 10 miles per hour under the speed limit and leaves his blinker on for miles. He yells at all the other drivers.
I love my dad, but I'm embarrassed for him. What can I do?
- Red-faced in Red Hook
I think you can get a new Dada - a dada that won't scream at the other drivers. Then you should stop being embarrassed, and you should get some ice cream. What kind of ice cream do you like? I like cherry. Dada likes caramel, and mama likes chocolate.
I am 17. My father is not aging gracefully. The waistline of his pants has started migrating north, and he is losing his hair rapidly. When he drives, he routinely goes 10 miles per hour under the speed limit and leaves his blinker on for miles. He yells at all the other drivers.
I love my dad, but I'm embarrassed for him. What can I do?
- Red-faced in Red Hook
I think you can get a new Dada - a dada that won't scream at the other drivers. Then you should stop being embarrassed, and you should get some ice cream. What kind of ice cream do you like? I like cherry. Dada likes caramel, and mama likes chocolate.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Where's the butter?
Dear Dr Sadie,
Why do they call them "butterflies?" Wouldn't a more accurate name be "Flutter-bys?"
- Confused Lepidopterist
Because butterflies are called flutterbys and flutterbys are called butterflies. I don't know much about butterfiles. I know more about things that live in the woods, like maybe wolves. I can answer questions about wolves. I know that wolves have skippy claws. I know that snakes can't wear vests because they don't have any arms. I know that tigers have rough claws and stripes. But I don't know much about butterflies.
Why do they call them "butterflies?" Wouldn't a more accurate name be "Flutter-bys?"
- Confused Lepidopterist
Because butterflies are called flutterbys and flutterbys are called butterflies. I don't know much about butterfiles. I know more about things that live in the woods, like maybe wolves. I can answer questions about wolves. I know that wolves have skippy claws. I know that snakes can't wear vests because they don't have any arms. I know that tigers have rough claws and stripes. But I don't know much about butterflies.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Belated Valentine's Day
Dear Dr. Sadie,
Will you be my valentine?
Yes. I will be your valentine, Uncle Baba. Thank you. I want to give you a heart. Today at gymnastics they gave me a heart stamp on my hand.
I love you, Uncle Baba.
Will you be my valentine?
Love,
Uncle BabaYes. I will be your valentine, Uncle Baba. Thank you. I want to give you a heart. Today at gymnastics they gave me a heart stamp on my hand.
I love you, Uncle Baba.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Nighttime Wrestling Matches
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I am married to a wonderful man. He's kind and caring. He's great with our kids, and he's a loving partner. He cooks and cleans. I really hit the jackpot.
The problem is at night. While he's asleep, he snores and hogs all of the covers. I frequently find myself kicked out of bed onto the floor. I haven't had a good night's sleep since we got married.
What can I do?
- Sleepless in Shelburne Falls
You should get more covers on. You should also get some love. You could tell your husband that you want the covers on, and he should stop stealing them. Stealing is bad. Your husband is a bad guy.
Shelburne Falls is a nice town. It's where I go with Grammie. It's a hike, but I like it. I get hot chocolate there.
I am married to a wonderful man. He's kind and caring. He's great with our kids, and he's a loving partner. He cooks and cleans. I really hit the jackpot.
The problem is at night. While he's asleep, he snores and hogs all of the covers. I frequently find myself kicked out of bed onto the floor. I haven't had a good night's sleep since we got married.
What can I do?
- Sleepless in Shelburne Falls
You should get more covers on. You should also get some love. You could tell your husband that you want the covers on, and he should stop stealing them. Stealing is bad. Your husband is a bad guy.
Shelburne Falls is a nice town. It's where I go with Grammie. It's a hike, but I like it. I get hot chocolate there.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Snowhere to be Found
Dear Dr. Sadie,
It's been winter for a whole month, and there's been almost no snow. Where's the snow?
- Plow Guy
You have to wait until it's the right time. There was a little snow, but some of it melted. We're going to get more snow in the next winter. When Santa comes, there will be lots of snow on the ground. Sometimes you just have to wait for things.
It's been winter for a whole month, and there's been almost no snow. Where's the snow?
- Plow Guy
You have to wait until it's the right time. There was a little snow, but some of it melted. We're going to get more snow in the next winter. When Santa comes, there will be lots of snow on the ground. Sometimes you just have to wait for things.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Broken Hearts, Broken China
Dear Dr. Sadie,
Last month, while I was visiting my elderly grandmother, I accidentally broke an expensive gravy boat. No one was around, so I swept up the pieces and threw them away. I neglected to mention my transgression to anyone.
Last week, my grandmother discovered its absence. She thinks that her cleaning lady stole it. The cleaning lady, of course, denies any knowledge of the incident, and my grandmother is threatening to fire her and call the police. If I come clean, my grandmother might be very upset with me, and I don't know how much time we have together left.
What should I do?
- Heart (and boat) Broken
You should go to the store and get another gravy boat. You should try to sneak it back into the house without grandma knowing.
I once broke something that belonged to Dada. It was a little plastic thing. I said I was sorry, and it was OK.
Last month, while I was visiting my elderly grandmother, I accidentally broke an expensive gravy boat. No one was around, so I swept up the pieces and threw them away. I neglected to mention my transgression to anyone.
Last week, my grandmother discovered its absence. She thinks that her cleaning lady stole it. The cleaning lady, of course, denies any knowledge of the incident, and my grandmother is threatening to fire her and call the police. If I come clean, my grandmother might be very upset with me, and I don't know how much time we have together left.
What should I do?
- Heart (and boat) Broken
You should go to the store and get another gravy boat. You should try to sneak it back into the house without grandma knowing.
I once broke something that belonged to Dada. It was a little plastic thing. I said I was sorry, and it was OK.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Extreme Sharing
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I am 10 years old. I live with my parents and my 6-year-old brother. Everything has been pretty good in our lives until a few weeks ago. Recently my uncle lost his job, and he is coming to live with us, along with his wife and 4 kids. Now his two girls (ages 5 and 14) are going to be sharing my room with me, and the two boys (ages 7 and 16) are going to be bunking with my brother. I know I should share, but this seems like a lot to ask of my brother and me.
Any advice?
- Doesn't Want to be Selfish
I don't want to share my room with that many people, but at least I want to share my room with one person -- my Dada.
I also think that you've never been on a roller coaster before.
I am 10 years old. I live with my parents and my 6-year-old brother. Everything has been pretty good in our lives until a few weeks ago. Recently my uncle lost his job, and he is coming to live with us, along with his wife and 4 kids. Now his two girls (ages 5 and 14) are going to be sharing my room with me, and the two boys (ages 7 and 16) are going to be bunking with my brother. I know I should share, but this seems like a lot to ask of my brother and me.
Any advice?
- Doesn't Want to be Selfish
I don't want to share my room with that many people, but at least I want to share my room with one person -- my Dada.
I also think that you've never been on a roller coaster before.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
No Rest for the Weary
Dear Dr. Sadie,
Stable in a Chaotic Land
I think that you should play some music. You should play songs about Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. You can play the music, Caillou can sing, and Rosie can do the drumming.
You shouldn't move. You should stay where you are, because your neighbors won't want to move, too. If you don't like it there, you should make a new house for your dog and cat.
I live in New England, and this year, the snows fell really early. For the third time this year, we lost power for several days. We saw floods, we saw a hurricane, and now this snowstorm. I'm not sure what to do, I don't want to move, but it's been a really rough year. What do you think?
I think that you should play some music. You should play songs about Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. You can play the music, Caillou can sing, and Rosie can do the drumming.
You shouldn't move. You should stay where you are, because your neighbors won't want to move, too. If you don't like it there, you should make a new house for your dog and cat.
Friday, January 6, 2012
The OSHA Fairy
Dear Dr. Sadie,
While on vacation in Tasmania last year, I caught a very serious, very contagious and potentially deadly disease. I am currently seeking treatment and my prognosis is good.
I have not told anyone at work about my diagnosis. If I do, I may be fired. I don't like putting others at risk, but if I quit my job, I lose my health insurance, and I will surely die.
What should I do?
- Confused in Cincinnati
You should get another house and another job - one that doesn't have sick people in it.
You should tell the people at work about your sickness. If you lose your job you can get another work. You can get a sandwich work.
While on vacation in Tasmania last year, I caught a very serious, very contagious and potentially deadly disease. I am currently seeking treatment and my prognosis is good.
I have not told anyone at work about my diagnosis. If I do, I may be fired. I don't like putting others at risk, but if I quit my job, I lose my health insurance, and I will surely die.
What should I do?
- Confused in Cincinnati
You should get another house and another job - one that doesn't have sick people in it.
You should tell the people at work about your sickness. If you lose your job you can get another work. You can get a sandwich work.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
The Way to a Woman's Heart
Dear Dr. Sadie,
I have a little problem. I recently got married to a wonderful man. He's everything I could hope for and more.
Unfortunately, one of his passions is cooking. He thinks that he's avant-garde, experimental and boundary-pushing, but really he's just horrible. His cuisine borders on the dangerous (I'll never forget the pork sushi debacle).
I love him, but I don't want us to die. What can I do?
-Gastronomically Challenged
You should get another husband. You should get one that's a good cooker, or one that doesn't think he's good at cooking.
You should get a lollipop - a cherry one.
I have a little problem. I recently got married to a wonderful man. He's everything I could hope for and more.
Unfortunately, one of his passions is cooking. He thinks that he's avant-garde, experimental and boundary-pushing, but really he's just horrible. His cuisine borders on the dangerous (I'll never forget the pork sushi debacle).
I love him, but I don't want us to die. What can I do?
-Gastronomically Challenged
You should get another husband. You should get one that's a good cooker, or one that doesn't think he's good at cooking.
You should get a lollipop - a cherry one.
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