Dear Dr. Sadie,
I own and operate a small ski resort in a New England State. I read a report today that says that it is expected that almost all ski resorts in New England will be out of business in the next 20 years, due to climate change. What should I do?
- Ski Bum
Maybe you should close up your job so that no one will take it away anymore. Then you should put some ribbon around it.
I have an idea. If it's getting too hot outside, why don't you make ice inside. You could make ice in the freezer, then you could put it all together and make a skating rink.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Deadbeats' Road Trip
Dear Dr. Sadie,
This is what I get for being a good person. About 6 months ago, my brother and his girlfriend, both high school dropouts and neither of whom can seem to hold a job for more than a few weeks, begged me to let them stay with me for a few weeks, "just until they can get back on their feet." Predictably, a few weeks turned into several months. This morning, I woke up to get ready for work, and I found that they had stolen my television and some other valuables (presumably to hock for cash), and they'd taken my car. There's a note on the table that says, "gone to Vegas, don't wait up."
What do I do now?
- Sucker
I think you should go to a car sale and get another car, and you should hide it. You should get another television, and you should hide it somewhere they can't find it.
When you see your brother you should say, "don't take my stuff. You are an awful kid. Do not come back to my house."
This is what I get for being a good person. About 6 months ago, my brother and his girlfriend, both high school dropouts and neither of whom can seem to hold a job for more than a few weeks, begged me to let them stay with me for a few weeks, "just until they can get back on their feet." Predictably, a few weeks turned into several months. This morning, I woke up to get ready for work, and I found that they had stolen my television and some other valuables (presumably to hock for cash), and they'd taken my car. There's a note on the table that says, "gone to Vegas, don't wait up."
What do I do now?
- Sucker
I think you should go to a car sale and get another car, and you should hide it. You should get another television, and you should hide it somewhere they can't find it.
When you see your brother you should say, "don't take my stuff. You are an awful kid. Do not come back to my house."
Monday, January 7, 2013
Dr. Sadie takes on Resolutions
Dear Dr. Sadie,
Do you have any tips for how one can keep one's New Year's Resolutions? I really want to make mine work this year.
- Resolved
I know someone who always keeps his promises. His name is the New Year's Resolution Mayor. He always kept his, because his birthday was on New Year's. So he just had to get a special present for himself, so he could open it. It was a very big present. It had a big ribbon on it, and the present was a jar filled with candies. The jar was taller than my Dada, and it was filled with candies for him to eat.
You can keep your New Year's Resolution by hugging yourself and kissing yourself and sending yourself a giant package. The package should be full of jars full of candies for you to eat. The package needs to be taller than my Mama.
Do you have any tips for how one can keep one's New Year's Resolutions? I really want to make mine work this year.
- Resolved
I know someone who always keeps his promises. His name is the New Year's Resolution Mayor. He always kept his, because his birthday was on New Year's. So he just had to get a special present for himself, so he could open it. It was a very big present. It had a big ribbon on it, and the present was a jar filled with candies. The jar was taller than my Dada, and it was filled with candies for him to eat.
You can keep your New Year's Resolution by hugging yourself and kissing yourself and sending yourself a giant package. The package should be full of jars full of candies for you to eat. The package needs to be taller than my Mama.
Friday, January 4, 2013
The Lonely Hearts Clubhouse
Dear Dr. Sadie,
Well, it happened again. Another New Year's Eve with no one special to kiss. It seems like all of my friends are now seriously coupled, married or having kids, and I am the lone spinster. Tell me, Dr. Sadie, will I ever find love?
Lonely in Louisville
Are your Mommy and Daddy still with you? Mommies and Daddies take care of their kids. If they are still around, then they will love you and take care of you.
Let's start with the people you know. Could you marry any of them?
Otherwise, you should meet new people. To meet new people, you should start by getting some money at the bank. Then you should go back to where there are people. Some of the people are at the mall. You could meet the people at the mall. You could marry one of them.
You could walk up to people you meet, and ask them, "hey! Could I marry you?" You could go around the whole world. Someone will say yes. Then you could get married and have children. Then, when you go to a fancy ball, the babysitter will come.
Well, it happened again. Another New Year's Eve with no one special to kiss. It seems like all of my friends are now seriously coupled, married or having kids, and I am the lone spinster. Tell me, Dr. Sadie, will I ever find love?
Lonely in Louisville
Are your Mommy and Daddy still with you? Mommies and Daddies take care of their kids. If they are still around, then they will love you and take care of you.
Let's start with the people you know. Could you marry any of them?
Otherwise, you should meet new people. To meet new people, you should start by getting some money at the bank. Then you should go back to where there are people. Some of the people are at the mall. You could meet the people at the mall. You could marry one of them.
You could walk up to people you meet, and ask them, "hey! Could I marry you?" You could go around the whole world. Someone will say yes. Then you could get married and have children. Then, when you go to a fancy ball, the babysitter will come.
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