Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Breaking in

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I know in my heart that I was born to be a star. I love to act, sing and dance. Do you have any advice on how I can make it big in the movies?

- A Rising (hopefully) Star

You could just ask someone to teach you how to act longer and how to sing longer and how to dance longer. That might be the way. That way you can spend more time in the movie.

You should tell the fairies that you want to be in the movies, and they will help you do it. Fairies can help you do anything. Fairies are magical.

You could make a stage and learn how to act at a school. You could go to an acting school. You would have to go every single day. Then you could have a play on what you've been learning. It would take you three days to learn how to be a star.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

What's a Sharknado?

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I recently discovered the existence of a wonderfully awful sounding film, called Sharknado, which seems to combine the devastating effects of a shark attack with a tornado. I truly love films such as these, but what I can't figure out is how they got such big stars to appear in this. There are some genuine celebrities in there, including John Heard. John Heard!?!? How do you think they got him to appear in a film like that?

- Dr. Sadie's Astonished Grandpa

I think he probably got on a whale and made the whale go to the sea. The whale's name was "Whale."

I think they paid him 25 cents to be in the movie. That's a lot of money. With that kind of money, you can pay to be in a movie. You could also buy a wooley-wobbley. That's a kind of toy. You can also spend the money on anteater legs. They're yummy.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Hot for Boss

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I am in my mid-20s, and I work in a small start-up with a small group of people who are all in their mid-20s to early 30s. We work very long hours. There are even cots in the office, in case we need to sleep there. Everyone is very dedicated, but our social lives have taken a serious hit. 

I have developed the hots for my boss. She's nice, supportive, attractive and intelligent. She's perfect for me. If I had a social life outside of work, I would never consider dating someone from work, but because I'm in the office 80 to 140 hours a week, I really have no other opportunities, and I'm feeling a little lonely.

I am worried that if I ask her out, and she refuses me, it might change the dynamics in the office (which are very good). I am also worried that if we do start dating, it will also change the office. I am also worried that if we start dating, and it doesn't work out, I'll have to leave the company.

What should I do?

- Nervous, but lonely

When I get to be your age, I will date with you, so we can be friends, and we can go to the beach, and we can both get hot dogs and lemonade. You shouldn't ask your boss out.

Until I get to be that age, we can invite you over to our house for dinner. You can have leftovers with us. We had chili last night, and it was good. You can help us know what time it is, and you can help us keep a watch out for bad guys.

If you come over, I'll give you hot dogs and marshmallows in your hot chocolate. You can stay in our guest room.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Postdoctoral Ennui

Dear Dr. Sadie,

Last fall I finished my dissertation. It was on the social habits of Monarch butterlies. I really loved my studies, but now that I'm done, I can't imagine entering the world of academia. What should I do with my life?

- Butterfly McKing

Maybe you should get a jar and fill the jar up with butterflies. Then you can bring your jar to the computer and figure out more about butterflies. You could study babies - like how babies are born. You could study that. I always wanted to study that. It's really, really good - because then you know how to be a doctor, and then you get more money to buy good toys.

You could be someone who steers a train. It's a little bit fun. Or you could be a baker. It's really fun. You get to bake delicious foods.