Thursday, December 27, 2012

Fancy Clothes for Girls

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I'm 12 years old. My mother won't let me wear what I want to school. She likes ugly clothes. I like fancy clothes. What should I do?

-Fancy Girl

Maybe you should tell your mom that you could wear ugly clothes under your fancy clothes. Then it would look like an ugly-fancy outfit.

This is just like me. I don't like to wear ugly dresses, but my mommy makes me wear them sometimes.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Lunchtime Blues

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I am in middle school. Lately, whenever I go to lunch and I sit at a lunch table with other kids, they all get up to leave. I end up eating lunch alone. It makes me very sad. What should I do?

- Lonely in Lakeside

I think you should ask them "why are you leaving the lunch table?" Then they will say how come they are leaving. Maybe they are done with lunch. That's a good reason to leave the lunch table. Maybe you're just a slow eater and the other kids are fast eaters.

Maybe you could eat with other kids - maybe your friends that live next to you. You could meet other kids and say "will you be my friend." Then your new friends would sit with you.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Dr. Sadie takes on Obesity

Dear Dr Sadie,

My doctor tells me that I need to lose about 100 pounds. I've tried lots of diets and weight-loss plans, but nothing seems to work. What can I do?

- Round, but not Jolly

I think you should stretch out to get some of that stuff out of your arms. When I need to get energy out, I like to run around an play. You can play tag. That's a good way to run around. That's when you run around and try to catch someone.

You should eat eggs and drink milk. Eggs and milk are healthy, but juice isn't healthy for you.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Blending Traditions

Dear Dr. Sadie,

Well. It's that time of year again. The time when I begin to dread visiting my husband's family for the holidays. Don't get me wrong, they are lovely people who have welcomed me into their family with open arms. It's just that I don't think I can stomach another year of their family tradition - the dreaded Christmas Ham Hash. 

You see, each year, the family makes a Christmas Ham on Christmas Eve. It's relatively standard fare - pineapple rings and a maple glaze. Even though I'm not a big meat eater, it's always well prepared and there are plenty of side dishes. Unfortunately, breakfast the following morning is a sort-of Christmas Hash, made by putting most of the leftovers (including the ham, roasted potatoes, string beans and sweet potatoes with marshmallows) into a food processor, then blending it into a pulp, and frying it up like corned beef hash. The whole mess is served with fried eggs. It's indescribably awful.

There are no other food options on Christmas Morning, and no other meals to be had until dinner. If I don't eat, they will be offended. What should I do?

Food Grinch

I think you should ask Pig Will and Pig Won't (editor's note: these are characters from Sadie's favorite show - "Busytown Mysteries"). They would know. They would help make the food more like your taste. They would make you pancakes.

Breakfast with marshmallows!!?!? That's silly. I would rather eat pancakes with bacon.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Dr. Sadie takes on Joblessness

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I've been unemployed for about 18 months. I'm an automotive technician by trade and training. I've given up hope of finding a new job in my field. I recently inherited enough money to start a small business, so I thought I'd give it a go. What business should I start in this economy so that I can be successful?

A Little Disheartened, but Hopeful

I think that you should be in charge of the world. Then you will have lots and lots of money, and you can give it to some of the people that don't have any. Once the poor people have the money, they will give it to the rich people, and the rich people will give it to the pirates.

If you were in charge of the world, you could ask all sorts of important questions, like "why do people have to sweep the floor when it's dirty?" or "why can't I watch the Olympics right now?"

Monday, December 10, 2012

Wedding Bells on the Sleigh

Dear Dr. Sadie,

My boyfriend and I just got engaged. We set a date for next year on Christmas Eve. We are planning a Christmas-themed wedding. What can we do to make the celebration for both our wedding and our favorite holiday?

Christmas Bride

You could mix it up with Christmas and then make another holiday - like Hanukah. You could also put holly wreaths on the door. You could decorate the whole room with holly berries, chains of green and blue, and plastic Christmas trees.

You could wear a wedding dress that is green and red, instead of white. That would be Christmasy, because those are Christmas colors. Instead of the wedding songs, you could play the Charlie Brown music (editor's note: "Charlie Brown music" = "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.")

You should serve Christmas food, like chicken nuggets and Christmas Pie, wrapped in holly berry paper. At the party, you could open the paper, and there would be a pie, which you could cut into pieces, then sploosh into people's faces. Then they would lick it off and say, "this pie is delicious."