Where in the world is me?

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I am going to retire next year. I have planned and saved, and I now have a nice little nest egg to support me in my golden years. I am planning to sell my house and move into a small apartment or cottage somewhere. I have come to the realization that I can go anywhere in the world, but I can't figure out where I should go. Where do you think a retired person should move to enjoy the later part of life?

- Senior on the Move

Maybe you should go to a place where it is cold. Then you won't get sunburned. It's not good for old people to get sunburns.

You could move to Vermont. It's cold here, but it's hot in the summer. If you move here, you will get to play in the snow with your grandkids. That's lots of fun. When there's a big storm, you get to stay inside and play all day. That's lots of fun, too. In Vermont, you get to pick grapes. There's also playing with lemons.

I like maple creemees and sugar on snow, too.

We're all sick

Dear Dr. Sadie,

It's cold and flu season, and everyone in my house is ill. My husband has the flu, I've got a nasty head cold, and my kids are all coughing up all sorts of nasty things. Do you know any ways to cure our ills?

- The Vector Family

I'm not really a doctor. I'm a princess. I don't know how to make you feel better. I think you need three fairies who have magical powers to make you feel better. Maybe you should take some medicine. There's medicine that you can drink. That will make you feel better.

Life is full of hard decisions

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I am a long-time reader, but first time writer. I really enjoy your columns, and I post them on my wall at work.

Now I need your help. I am stuck in a job I hate. I have the opportunity to do one of two things: I can go to college on a scholarship and become a medical technician, or I can join the circus and travel around the world. Which should I do?

- Conflicted

You should join the circus - I think that's better. If you join the circus, maybe you will get to see jugglers. That's the only good reason to join the circus.

Little Brother = Big Bother

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I have a little brother who I love dearly, but he always wants to do everything that I am doing. He takes my toys and follows me around. What can I do?

- Big Sister

You could take your toys before he does. You could dress in one of your scary Halloween costumes and scare your brother. You could use a tiger costume. You could ride around the house on a spooky horse. This works because when spooky things come near little things, it scare them away.

You could get a real horse up to your house, and then you could ride up to your little brother, and then he wouldn't take your toys, because he was scared.

Jumping ship?

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I have been married to a wonderful man for 5 years. He's kind, educated, very good looking, intelligent and sensitive. He treats me very well. We have a beautiful 2 year old son. Our life is truly wonderful. I look around me at all of the unemployment, poverty, marital strife and unhappiness, and I am so grateful for all that I have. I am truly blessed.

I find myself thinking romantic thoughts about my mechanic. He's rough, filthy and is generally rude and obnoxious. I find him physically repulsive. Still, not a day goes by that I don't think about leaving my family behind and shacking up with him. Please help!!!

- Confused Wife and Mother

You should marry the mechanic, because then you won't have to go to his place to get your car fixed. You should leave your husband and son behind because they might want to marry other people, too. You need to marry lots of different people. It's not good to stay with one person all the time.