Dear Dr. Sadie,
I have a little problem. I recently got married to a wonderful man. He's everything I could hope for and more.
Unfortunately, one of his passions is cooking. He thinks that he's avant-garde, experimental and boundary-pushing, but really he's just horrible. His cuisine borders on the dangerous (I'll never forget the pork sushi debacle).
I love him, but I don't want us to die. What can I do?
-Gastronomically Challenged
You should get another husband. You should get one that's a good cooker, or one that doesn't think he's good at cooking.
You should get a lollipop - a cherry one.
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