Kids, these days

Dear Dr. Sadie,

I am a teacher. I have a hard time competing for students' attention with cell phones and other mobile devices. What can I do?

- Anachronistic Teacher

PS I teach Kindergarten

You should get a police officer. The police officer will tell the students "get off the phone, you students, and watch your teacher."

Maybe you should be more fun to your students. Maybe you can take them to the playground. Maybe you can go and play in the dirt. You should do nothing else.